HAPPY PUMPKIN DAY!

Halloween isn't until Friday, but I'm doing all of my celebrating tonight. Adams RSA is responsible for putting on the Safe Trick-Or-Treat program for the Norman community. Kids from around Norman come and trick-or-treat up and down the dorm towers. There's also a haunted house in the RSA office, a carnival in the Walker-Adams Mall (put on by one of the other centers), and a lounge for the parents whose children are old enough to wander by themselves.

We have put so much time into this event, it's unbelievable. Richard, I know, has been working non-stop. The event is tonight, and I don't think he's slept more than 5 hours over the last three days. It can't be good for him. Or for the rest of us. Way too many late nights going on. Nonetheless, I've never been more excited about Halloween. Safe Trick-Or-Treat has taken over my life for now. That pumpkin has the HCSA logo on it. I think I worked on it for nearly two hours. And it's not that I was distracted. Quite to the contrary, I was incredibly focused and being an insane perfectionist.

I can't imagine life without RSA. There are a few kinks in the system right now regarding hcsa/rsa elections, but I may actually run to be Adams Center President for next year. The biggest detail that makes a difference in that is whether or not Richard decides to run. If he's running for Adams RSA pres, it's his; he deserves it, and he knows what he's doing. Otherwise, I think it will be me vs. Eddie, and that could be a close race.

In the background of all this holiday hustle and bustle, there's been some personal drama. Not "personal" as in "my own," but just... stuff. Stuff to do with Shannon and her roommate. And I may give details out on an individual basis, but it's not entirely my story to tell (though I am involved somewhat). As a result of this drama, Shannon ended up sleeping in my room the other night, and I have decided to semi-permanently convert the other bed in here to a guest bed. I have my extra pair of sheets on it, a blanket Alice left in here one night, and a fleece throw I picked up at Walmart last night for $3.97.

Speaking of insanely cheap things: gas! $1.97 the other day at Walmart. $2.01 at a few other places.

And there's also cool stuff to say about weather and guys, but now is not the time because I think we're doing some more decorating soon!

Guilt

Every time I talk to a guy (or dance with a guy, or whatever), Richard turns his head to smile at me. In a way, it feels mocking. Maybe part of it is. After all, I basically portray myself as being only half a step away from asexual. But I brought it up with Shannon this morning, and she said it's because "He feels bad. We both do." For those interested, Shannon and Richard are now an official couple. So official, in fact, that they've updated their facebooks.

"We just want you to be happy," she said. I've been hearing a lot of that lately. Last night, my drunken friend was praying out loud and she asked God to bring a Caribou Coffee to campus for me so that I could be happy. She has mentioned, sober even, that I tend to be willing to give up my own happiness for the happiness and well-being of my friends. But all of these things she's said I've done have seemed like no-brainers to me. Last night, I slept in a "bathtub" made by pushing two armchairs together so I could take care of her while she was sick: I can survive without catching up on my sleep for one more night. I back off so two of my friends can start dating: other guys will come along, and my friendships with either of them mean more to me than a one-sided attraction that never would have gone anywhere.

Any time Shannon's guilt of nearly Catholic proportions comes up, I remind her (and myself) that neither of them have done anything wrong. We can't help who we are attracted to.

Learning experiences

I swear, I was going to go to bed. I stopped playing video games abruptly at 1:30, but just as I was unplugging the NES from the lobby TV, a friend (remaining unnamed because she does not deserve to be judged by this one incident) came through the west doors of the building with another mutual friend. Both are laughing, and I call out to them by name. "Who is that?!" she shouts across the lobby. It's not long before I realize that this friend is completely and totally wasted. Richard comes over to help (he was playing Halo on the other TV), and he brings the friend to the office, tells her to lie down, and sets a garbage can next to the couch. I finish packing up my games and then go in to check on the friend. Other friends have set her up with a water bottle and a piece of bread, which she is only barely able to eat. Clumsy, entirely candid, she spouts every thought that comes to mind. And then she pukes a little bit, and it smells of "vodkarita." I started to gag but got my mind away from the smell and the mental image fast enough to maintain my composure.

Almost two hours later, she and I are still in the office. She has fallen asleep, so I am staying down here with her for the night to make sure she doesn't end up choking on her vomit or something. I have class at 9. It's "International Talk Like Sarah Palin Day." She doesn't have class until 4, probably a very good thing, since she will, almost without a doubt, have a hangover.

The moral of the story (one I already knew, actually): vodka takes a while to have its effect. Drink vodka slowly so you know how drunk you are. You'll go from sober to wasted really fast otherwise, with no "slightly buzzed" in between.

The other lesson: the gods of sleep (Hypnos in Greek, Somnus from Roman myth) hate me. I was trying. Really, I was.

I'm calling this a good week

I'm not sure what a normal person's "good week" feels like, but I'm definitely happy with the way this week has gone for me.

I've managed to be awake for German every day. That's good, for obvious reasons. I was also on time every day this week, unlike last week. This morning (I say that, but it's Saturday now, so I mean Friday morning) I woke up 10 minutes before class started, got ready in three, and ran all the way to class. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself, because I had somehow made it on time, but when I walked into class, we had a sub, so it ended up not mattering. Oh, well. The sub was a much better teacher than our normal professor, which is a bit frustrating, in the long run, but I got over it.

In Understanding Music, we had a review day for the test on Monday (we also have a German test on Monday, but I've talked to the Music teacher about the possibility that I will be late to class and he said it's not an issue). I took very careful notes and should be able to study over the weekend, probably primarily Sunday night.

There was no chem today, because we had a test Thursday night on units 3 and 4. I got a combined total of 80%, but the unit 4 grade was only 70%, so I may opt for the retake on that one, depending on what my grade looks like at the time it comes up.

Instead of chem, I went to lunch at Cate, where I ran into some meteorology friends. We ate, talked, and I made plans with Sadi to work on math homework together tonight. Before that, though, we're going to go to Which Wich for supper, because I've never been there, along with Megan, a mutual friend. I think they're going to meet me at my work when I get off (6:00) because Which Wich is on Campus Corner, as is JJ's. Excellent. I've invited a few more people along for the sandwiches because it sounds like fun, but I'm not really sure who's coming and who's not.

After lunch and making all these plans, I came back to the dorm and slept until about 14 minutes before I had to be at work. I quickly gathered my things, hopped on my bike, and made it to the shop, where I was greeted with two lovely deliveries to make. The first was pretty close, and I got a $3 tip. The second was 1.7 miles away, a large stretch of that being on busy roads with no sidewalks, and then I had trouble finding the address, and then there was a suite involved because the address referred to an entire strip of little businesses. But I got another $4.50 in tips, so that definitely made up for it. Also, these two adventures took up almost the first hour of my three-hour shift. I call it a productive day when I earn 33% above my expected wages.

After I came back to the dorm, I had plans to go with Alice to the concert happening on the Walker-Adams Mall at 9, but I was napping again until about 10. Alice never called me, and she said it was no big deal, so I guess I'm alright with that. I went up and visited her at her new job, monitoring the 24-hour quiet study area on the 12th floor of Walker, tonight from 10 pm-6 am. Icky. But we hung out, and then Kate came up, since she lives in Walker anyway. Overall, it was a fun night.

To change tones entirely (sorry, I don't want to be emo, but it happens), I've concluded that hope can hurt a lot. I think that's part of why I've been having so much trouble dealing with this Richard stuff. I really do think that all I need, or really really want, anyway, is a guy. I want someone to cuddle with and someone to hold hands with and someone to kiss (ew... cooties!). And when Alice was telling me she thought he might like me back, I got my hopes up. I thought that could be him. And now I am somewhat jealous because Shannon is getting that instead of me. But it doesn't need to be him. I know that I don't convey this very well, but I am fine just being friends with Richard. He's still a good person, fun to be around, and y'know, it's easier when I don't feel like I need to try to impress him. But I just wish I had someone, and since he was the latest someone on my mind, he's kind of stuck there until I come across someone new.

I really want to say that a few good nights' sleep will help me stop being so weird and emotional, but I'm not sure I'll ever find out at this rate. Ugh. My back hurts. Dorm mattresses=t3h suXx0rz!

Not really feeling like myself today

I went to bed at about 5 am this morning. By 8:30, I was awake, dressed, spreading cream cheese on my bagel, and in a relatively good mood. By 9:30, I was in German, scaring my classmates a little bit. I think it's about the second time they've seen me fully awake in that class, so it came as a bit of a shock to them. My best guess as to the cause of my good mood is that I dressed up. Yesterday I went shopping with Shannon and Kate. I bought some cute new T-shirts and a pair of grey Converse Hi-tops that I didn't take off from BEFORE I bought them until about 1 in the morning. Today I wore the new shoes, a new shirt, and, for maybe the second time since I've been on campus, earrings (not new). I was awake in class and it impressed the teacher and it scared my classmates and it kind of surprised me. Of course, I'm exhausted now, but that's not a big deal, because I'm just in chem.

Between Understanding Music (10:30-11:20) and now, I stopped in the library for a break and a snooze and a drink from the cafe. After checking all the staples of my internet diet, I decided it would be a good time to just relax on one of the giant, fluffy, cozy leather chairs. I pulled out the third book in the Twilight series, which I've borrowed from Alicia (fictional men make a great distraction from real ones), and settled down. 12:40, and I was half-asleep reading. I had planned for this; my cell phone alarm was set to wake me up before chem at 1:30. But before that even had a chance to go off, I was awoken from my near slumber by a tap on my shoulder. I turned my head to find... some guy. I don't remember his name, and for that I feel like an idiot. I actually met him about two weeks ago on the way back from a general council meeting. Apparently, we passed each other near the dorms several times a week, so he decided one day to say hi. I decided we should introduce ourselves properly so we would be ready next time we saw each other (although I actually hadn't noticed him before). I think he said his name was Andrew, but I'm not sure at all. But anyway, he woke me up from my half-nap to say hi and comment on the fact that he hadn't seen me since the time we introduced ourselves, at least two weeks ago. And then he continued to the coffee shop and I continued with my nap.

That was fast...

"Shannon isn't interested, though. She's really not."

My bad. And I will explain that from the very beginning.

I slept Monday night, as planned. I woke up at an okay hour on Tuesday, went to my math class, was exhausted by the time chem discussion rolled around. Tuesday night I tried to do homework. I actually stopped myself from going to the RSA office, until about 10, because at that point I needed Eddie's help for chem, and he helped me, and I got my chem mostly done. And then, naturally, I stayed in the office and didn't do much more homework. I still had German and Understanding Music to do, so I worked on it for a while in the office, then in my room, and Alice came up to my room. And we ended up swinging on the swingset at 2 in the morning because it hit 50 degrees (actually, 48 by the time we got back in the room!). And then I worked on homework some more, and I think Alice did, too, and then Alice, Shannon, Alicia, and I went on a 4 am photo shoot. Brilliant. There are lots of awesome pictures, and I will e-mail them to those interested. Many (but not all) of them will also show up on facebook in the near future. Well, we finished the night by talking. Shannon explained to me that she does like Richard, but she pushed him away because she didn't want to hurt our friendship, which she values more than some guy. I appreciate that, and I also feel like a bitch for making her choose to do that. The discussion continued and it turns out that... he knows I like him.

And that was the first step to recovery. My infatuation has faded faster than some Joe Six-Pack's beer playing the "maverick" drinking game during the VP debate. But the last few drops are still at the bottom of the can. Honestly, I'm over him. I mean, he's still a good person, fun to be around, and I'm still impressed by him on a regular basis, but I realize that, well, I was being ridiculous, and I'm done with that. Right now it's the little things that get me. There's a silly little game where you tie a straw wrapper in a knot and think of someone. Then, when you pull on the ends of the wrapper, if the knot is gone, they're thinking of you, too. I don't have anyone else to think of. I default back to him.

Tonight (Friday night, that is) we went dancing again. I'm not much of a dancer, so I was standing around feeling awkward. Jay danced with his girlfriend, Richard danced with Shannon, Sarah... wiggled her knees leaning against a wall. Shannon and I talked in the bathroom. She told me to dance with her. I told her she had my blessing to dance or do whatever she wanted with Richard. At this point in the night, Shannon and I also decided to keep count of who more guys tried to dance with: her, me, or Jay's hot girlfriend Cari. When I tried to dance with Shannon, though, Richard kept pulling her back to him. So... awkward Sarah resumes her little wall dance.

I won. I won the game. Cari only had one guy try to dance with her, not counting Richard, because, while Jay can't dance, he was being very... possessive/protective/whatever. It was cute. It made us all laugh a little bit, and laughing at Jay was a large part of the reason I paid $10 to get in. Seriously. Shannon's magic number was 2, and one of them was really really drunk and on his way out, so I'm not sure if he counts. Mine... Mine was 4. FOUR GUYS. I'm not sure how old the first one was, 'cause I couldn't see his face that well. It kind of creeper me out. The second one was really tall, actually talked to me. He's a former meteorology major, named Jonathan. He taught me the Cuban Shuffle. The next one was pushed over to me by his friends. Reasonably good looking. The fourth... was dancing with me at the same time. Damn straight, Sarah was in a Sarah sandwich! And I'm okay with that. Shocked, certainly, but okay. I had fun. I danced. I danced with strangers. I danced with strangers in a club. I danced with strangers in a club while sober.

We came back around 1:15. We went to the RSA office and put in a movie. I fell asleep with my head on Shannon's lap right away, and woke up 15 minutes into the movie. I didn't figure I would make it through the movie, so I wished everyone a good night and left. I was actually in bed, sleeping, by 2:30 am. That's progress, sadly enough. Around 4:30, I got a drunk phone call from a friend. Not going into details on that, because it's not important and they're not necessarily my details to give out. And I couldn't fall back to sleep because, as dicussed... fucked up sleep schedule. Around 5, I heard the doors to my hall open. I figured that meant Shannon was back and I was going to ask her if she had a good night or whatever. Well, the answer went without saying. I looked through my peep hole and saw Shannon and Richard kissing. Nay, making out. Well, alright then. She has my blessing.

However, this being the weekend that it is, all of that takes a backseat to my final message:
BOOMER SOONER! sɐxǝʇ SUCKS!

Parli Pro!

"I move for strippers!"
"Second!"
"I move to lay the motion on the table."
"I move to take the motion from the table."
"I move for further investigation of the motion."

This is the kind of thing we accomplish in Bylaws Committee meetings. Yay for parliamentary procedure.

Intense

This week has been kind of intense. Several times I have considered posting with a bunch of day-to-day details, but I'm not sure what would get me in trouble and what would just be stupid and mundane. I've probably told most of you everything that's been going on anyway, and if you want some more details, you can call me sometime or send me an e-mail.

Here is the short version:
My sleep schedule is ruined. I'm trying to reset it tonight, which is why I'm up right now, typing this. I went to the Health Center on Friday and got some meds, but I haven't taken any of them yet. My cold seems to be getting better. But I swear I'll take the meds tomorrow night. As a matter of fact, I'll take the antibiotic later this morning. Umm... I've been contemplating dropping my calc class while I could still get a "W" for withdrawing instead of an F or whatever, but my math teacher talked me out of it. Apparently 53/100 was actually a relatively high score on that test, and I'd rather stay as far ahead as possible. I think I'll still be able to maintain my scholarships, but I guess it's not a sure thing until the end of the semester, because he said he'll put it on a curve then. Other classes are going fine.

The social side of college life is actually the part that's made the last week so intense. I've spent a lot of time with all of my friends--Shannon, Richard, and Alice especially. But on Tuesday Richard and Shannon started getting to know each other and Richard very obviously started liking Shannon. Shannon, Richard, Jay, and I all went to a club on Friday night; Richard danced only with her. There's more, but I'm not going to bitch about that now because I've been bitching all weekend to everyone already. Shannon isn't interested, though. She's really not. She was kind of enjoying the attention, just because it's attention, and it's from a guy. I can understand that. I'd probably do the same thing. But she's apologized to me a lot and she's talked to him and told him that she just wants to be friends, so I think it's all good. The unfortunate thing in all this is that I haven't learned my lesson. I'm a fool and I'm still infatuated. As a drunken Alicia said earlier tonight, "Being a girl sucks, because we have emotions." Yeah, we all had fun laughing at Alicia. That's mean, but it's true. She's a kind of silly drunk. She's not the only one (and with that I apologize for all my previous rantings against drunk people).