Goin' Anywhere

I think I've heard the song "Don't Stop Believin'" about 6 times today. That's not necessarily a bad thing; it's a good song.

I am currently at the NACURH (National Association of College and University Residence Halls) national conference. I've been told it's "like cheerleader camp on crack." Normally, I'd probably be okay with this, but quite honestly, I'm in a foul mood, and that makes it really hard to be peppy. And I can't even understand why. I mean, I had Caribou Coffee today (the Denver International Airport is my happy place).

I suppose I should start from the beginning, and by "beginning," naturally, I mean the end of the school year. My parents made it into town Friday night, after finals were over. By this point, most of campus was abandoned and they had the freedom to park wherever they wanted and take as much time as they wanted. The short version of this, since it doesn't matter all that much, was that it went off nearly without a hitch (little quarrels here and there, but otherwise tolerable) and they left and I was alone with all of my belongings crammed into two suitcases. I slept for two nights in their hotel, then spent Sunday night back in my dorm.

Monday, I checked out of my room and brought all my stuff to Eddie's to stay in his apartment for the week, although in actuality, most of the week was spent in his hometown of McAlester, Oklahoma. Monday afternoon we grabbed lunch, went back to his apartment for a while, and then packed up and left town. We stayed at his house, I in the guest bedroom. His mother was quite nice and even gave us money for food a few times, so we were able to go out to eat. She was a little obsessive about her dogs (they're Eddie's "sisters" and, much like my grandfather's annoyingly spoiled chi-poo-poo/poohuahua/whatever, use "piddle pads" so they can pee without going outside), but overall, a nice woman. We planned to leave town again Wednesday morning, which meant Eddie's mother was going to pay to fill up his gas tank Tuesday night. Well, apparently that was forgotten, so around 10 Wednesday morning, he called his mother and work and whined on the phone to her until she agreed to use her lunch break to come back and pay for his gas. Waitaminute waitaminute waitaminute. Are you serious?!

The fact is, he had been getting whinier and whinier as the week progressed, and I couldn't understand it. The problem has persisted, and I still don't. Wednesday and Thursday night were in Eddie's apartment. He mostly stuck to himself, but Thursday we went to paint paddles for NACURH (pics, I promise) in the HCSA area of Couch Center. Jay and I ran to Walmart for supplies and in the meantime, Eddie apparently decided to begin the painting. The paddles already had their base coat, half red and half white, so the next step was the word "RUF" in white on the red and "DUKS" in red on the white. For some reason the RUF stencil had gone missing, but Eddie went ahead and spraypainted the DUKS part. In the HCSA hallway. Spraypaint, yes... good idea. Well, for some reason the spray paint reacted funny with the coat underneath and it started to bubble oddlly. Eddie tried to fix the damage by blotting and/or wiping away the deformities in the letters. I saw none of this. What I saw when I got back to the conference room, in addition to the smell of spraypaint in a confined area, was smudged writing. Jay and I both laughed a little bit, but in a VERY easygoing way, and I thought it was quite clear that we were joking. Eddie got pissed and stopped working. He hardly spoke for the rest of the day (I should mention that he had painted both his paddle and mine). I improvised a stencil for the RUF part (the letter P, a handmade stencil traced on a paper plate from the word DUKS, and an E) and used it to blot-paint that part of the paddle onto each of ours with a foam sponge. Not perfect, but it turned out alright. As I was doing so, I said to Eddie, several times, that what happened with the DUKS was not his fault and it didn't really matter. He wouldn't speak to me. He's been just as moody since, and not just towards me, but also towards Jay, despite the fact that Jay finished his paddle for him (the other side of each has the owner's name on it).

Frankly, I'm getting sick of it. I just can't deal with it any more, and I can't understand it, and I'm not sure I care enough to keep trying to pry out of him the details of whatever has him so upset.

Additionally, despite the fact that we are all a tight group of friends and there are hundreds of people at this conference, I'm feeling incredibly lonely. Hannah and Lydia are rooming together (we brought three girls, so one of us had to room separately). Fine, that's not their fault, but Hannah only seems to want to talk to Lydia this trip. Eddie isn't talking to anyone. Jay probably feels just as left out as I do, but he and I just don't have much to talk about right now. We're not mad at each other, we're friends, but we have very little in common, as it turns out.

I want Shannon, and I want Akshatha, and I want Nyssa, and I want easy access to Caribou Coffee, and I want my kitties, and I just don't want to be here right now.

And I started developing a sore throat and stuffy nose late this morning, so I think I'm getting sick.

x_x

That little emoticon... that's me. After I eat all the junk food I just bought.

I went to the convenience store (the on-campus one--yay for using up meal points) and bought a pound or so of candy and a bottle of NOS. For those of you unfamiliar with it, NOS is a high-power energy drink. Tasty, too! After that, I went to Burger King, got a Tendercrisp chicken sandwich combo (with Pibb) and cheesy tots. I also have two five-hour energies in my room, one of them extra strength.

You see, my sleep schedule is a little bit... off. Last night, I was still awake when the fire alarms went off at 5:20AM (my dad assumed I was woken up by the alarms... ha). I went to bed shortly after we were allowed back inside the building, woke up a little after 9 and took the bus to the Weather Center, where I dropped off a few assignments, and then Shannon and I went to Jason's Deli (it's excellent, and there will be one in Eden Prairie, opening June 8th) and each ate about half of a potato the size of my face. Fecking delicious.

And then I went back to sleep. Until 5. Oops.

And now my weather radio is going off. We're in a flash flood watch, severe thunderstorm watch, and a few nearby counties are in a severe thunderstorm warning. It's hot out. The sky is bright blue. People are playing frisbee and sitting on swings, because it's so utterly summer-like outside. And I'm stuck in here, "studying." (I try, really, but it's so easy to convince yourself that, "oh, I'll just check facebook one more time...")

:)

Saturday was my birthday. 19 years old, one of the least significant birthdays out there. Worse, even, than 17. And on top of it, I was missing my aunt's memorial service. As a result, I basically planned to be in a bad mood, and I met my plans. But Shannon was planning a birthday party. That much I knew, and so we had it tonight.

At 9:50, I went to Jay's room, where Shannon, Richard, Jay, and Lydia were waiting. There was a cake on the table in the center of his room, clearly handmade and very delicious-looking and two gifts wrapped in pink butcher paper, probably stolen from either the Walker or Couch RSA office. I opened the first and saw a big pink smiley face. Oh, wait... not just a smiley face... and octopus. Fun. And it opens--yes, a pink octopus cookie jar. And I opened it up to find... CONDOMS. A cookie jar full of condoms, many of which, as it turned out, were my own to begin with. A few days ago, Shannon and Jay formulated a master plan so Shannon could take all the condoms out of the box on my desk. Mixed in with the condoms in the jar was the can opener I had lent to Jay while Shannon was in my room, eating Chinese food. Oh, those sneaky little devils. The other gift was a dragon kite, because I had been telling Shannon for days that I wanted to fly a kite. She and I will be flying it on Friday and/or Saturday, and then, only about a week later, I will be flying a kite with Akshatha (this is a promise/threat).

As it turns out, I have the coolest friends ever.

Love to everyone back home--I can't wait to see you. As a matter of fact, I booked my flight today and I will be home (well, at the MSP airport) at 8:53 p.m. Saturday, May 26th. And the next day I plan to have Caribou Coffee at least 6 times. Anyone wanna call dibs on first, second, or third trips? Better yet, we'll combine them all in one and go to MOA. :)

Here he is!

Upgrade! The silver box to the right is where I used to keep all of my condoms. It was completely stuffed.

And there it is, all full!

Welcome to finals season

I realize it's been nearly a month since my last post, so I guess it's time to start catching people up, huh...

Well, Shannon and Richard are no longer. They're on a break/broken up (brings to mind the Ross-Rachel dilemma in friends). It doesn't look good. They're treating it as a breakup. I think Shannon realizes it's for the better, but she's having trouble coming to terms with it. I can't blame her. She had a lot invested in this relationship. Richard seems mostly unconcerned. He cares for her, but there's only so much he can do. He tries to be sensitive, but it's not his specialty. And, with Shannon still working things out for herself, it's going to be really hard for me to see him flirting with everyone at NACURH. I try to be somewhat supportive on both ends, although Shannon obviously needs it more. She hasn't been eating well, but she's trying, and her appetite is increasing slightly.
I can't criticize. The day before she stopped eating, I had also stopped. I ate two meals in four days, but my appetite is basically back to normal by now. That was all two weeks ago.

Everyone seems to be miserable, though. It hurts a lot. And it hurts even more when I realize that, personally, I've had the best year of my life. High school was shit for me. It would have been unbearable without Nyssa and Akshatha, but even so, the whole purpose of high school was to lead up to graduation and getting out of that stupid little town. High school... it sucked. Plain and simple. This year, roads of opportunity are opening for me. I have more amazing friends than ever. I have personal freedom, I've experienced personal growth. Everything's different, but it's amazing. I almost don't want to go home. But I miss Akshatha and Nyssa. And I want, more than anything, to give my mom a hug.

For once, I think I have the right reasons for things. It's refreshing. But it's going to make the next two weeks so, so hard.