stressstressstressrantrantrantbreathe.... breathe....

Yeah, so this whole Couch thing... it's got me freaking out. In the beginning, my friend Eddie threatened to be really effing upset with me if I get the position and he doesn't. There's a lot of background there, but the short version of this is that I understand completely and his persistence should count for something, just like I think it should've counted for me for something in high school. So, yeah, I think he'd be completely justified in being upset if I get the position and he doesn't. Next, we found out that it would be absolutely required for whoever gets the position to move. Well, that just sucks. I just got a new roommate a few weeks ago. I've lived here since August, my bank statements come to this address, and there are only a few months left in the semester. Moving now would just be ridiculous. And let's face it: I have a ton of stuff in this room. Also, it would leave Shannon without a microwave or TV. The room in Couch might come equipped with a fridge/freezer/microwave, but those microwaves suck. They burn popcorn. Moreover, I love Adams. My friends all live here. We're tight. We're like family. Moving away from this building will probably mean I'm not as tight with the group. Who wants to walk all the way across the street just to visit little old me? I've been told my odds are good for getting this position. What kind of asshole would I be to turn it down because I don't want to move?

My friends have been leaving me out of the loop. Well, not all of them. I shouldn't exaggerate. Richard's been keeping me more in the loop than he probably should in regards to the whole selection procedure. But Shannon has been talking to Alice and not me, and that sucks. I'm worried about her. I know something is wrong, but she won't tell me what. And I wouldn't dream of asking Alice, because that's a violation of Shannon's privacy. It used to be the other way. Shannon told stuff to me and not Alice. And I don't know what it is. Does Shannon not think she can trust me? Does she think I'd judge? So now I'm worried about her even though I have no idea what's going on or whether it even needs to be worried about. But this whole not-telling-the-whole-story thing seems to be spreading around. Akshatha is doing it. Nyssa only just clued me in on what's going on in her life. Guys, I want to know! Yes, I'm a nosy busybody, but more importantly I worry really easily about my friends.

I'm so tired lately. I've actually been sleeping a lot more than usual lately. I got almost 6 hours on a school night earlier, and on Sunday I apparently got enough sleep that I was able to wake up NATURALLY at 7:30 a.m. This morning, I somehow woke up at 5:15, even though my alarm was set for 5:30. This is either a sign that I'm not sleeping well at all or that I'm getting plenty of sleep. In either case, I wish I weren't so tired at night. Tonight I slept from 9:00 to 11:55. Right now there's nothing I want more than to go back to sleep, but I can't, because I still have homework. Fuck Mondays. Fuck my sleep schedule. And I've been talking in my sleep as much as, more possibly more, than before. I've asked my friends to wake me up if I start talking, because obviously that can't be quality sleep anyway. But let's face it... it's funny to listen to people talking in their sleep. Even funnier if they have an entire conversation with you.

Spring break is stressing me out. I finally figured out what I'm doing. Originally there was a bit of an option of flying out to San Francisco with Akshatha. A lot of things were holding me back, but the biggest one was my overwhelming sense of guilt. My dad said that he's been feeling "neglected," and as much as I don't want to care, I do. At the moment, I don't owe him a whole ton of allegiance on the level of coming home to visit. Don't get me wrong, I love Minnesota, but I'm the one paying for my college. I'm the one who paid for my plane ticket home for Thanksgiving. I'm the one who was absolutely miserable for most of winter break. But it doesn't matter now. A bus ticket has been purchased (for which I'm told I will be reimbursed) so I can make a lovely 18-hour trip from Norman to Burnsville and back. I'll probably spend most of break sleeping anyway. Well... sleeping, and picking up my dad for lunch at work so we can go to Happy Hour at Sonic. Yum.

I'm probably not at my healthiest right now. This is mostly my own fault, just like most of the other things going on. I gave up meat for lent, but I don't have any protein supplement to keep me healthy. I've been eating veggie burgers, trying to take my daily multivitamin. I might look into some protein shakes or something, just to make sure I'm getting the proper intake there. But diet supplements like that are so expensive!

I've got a ton of homework left. I probably shouldn't have written this at all, honestly. I have a test tomorrow morning at 8:15, so I have to catch the 7:55 bus to the Weather Center, which means I have to leave my dorm by 7:40. Potential solution: borrowing Alice's car. I just texted her, so we'll see if I can do that for the morning. That would help a LOT. And it's only a few blocks' drive. A response already... Yeah, no problem. Excellent. I just shaved 20 minutes off before and after my meteorology class by not taking the bus.

Explanation

I think that last entry requires a little bit of explanation. Why on earth would I go on a three-page rant about cheeses? Why would I spend that much on cheese? Well, I'll start from the beginning.

Alice likes Boar's Head ham. It's the only type of ham she had ever eaten before coming to Oklahoma. But it's elite. They don't sell it at Walmart, which is basically the main grocery store in these parts. So one day Alice asked the woman behind the Walmart deli counter if there was anywhere nearby that might have it. The helpful Walmart employee quickly named Forward Foods as the place to go. I remembered having seen it on Main Street while riding deliveries, so one Sunday afternoon, Alice and I took a trip up to Main Street and walked around. We found Forward Foods with relative ease. It turns out that that store and the one next to it (a record shop) are the only two places open on Sundays. Anyway, we go in, and I am AWED by their cheese display. I mean, just look at that! So I go to the counter and read the descriptions on several of them, but there were just too many to read them all. So I tell the person behind the counter that I have no idea what I'm looking for, except that I'm hoping for something on the less expensive end--I am, after all, a college student. He asks me if I've tried the "Prima Donna" and I say no, so he slices off a sample of it for me.

OH MY GOD. Have I mentioned lately how much I love good cheese? I think it was even better because I haven't had real cheese in such a long time. I've been limited to the Walmart selection--and they hardly even stock extra sharp cheddar down here. They have nothing for those of us with more sophisticated cheese tastes. But this Prima Donna was delicious. I ask how much it is... Oh... oh... um... Hmm... That's the trouble with good cheeses. They're really flipping expensive. $16.99/lb... I try a few more cheeses, on the less expensive end, but he started me off with one of the best and I just couldn't bring my mind away from it. I bought 0.42 lb. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how it all began.

A few days later, I was telling Kate about all this. She tried my Prima Donna, loved it, and we decided that we would have to have a cheese party. Thursday, February 12, we walked back up to Main Street and went to Forward Foods. We took pictures on the way (remind me to upload these--it includes a picture of the James Garner statue!) and then when we were inside, we hatched a plan. We would split the costs of buying several really small samples of cheese. $3 samples, to be precies. And 10 of them. Well, we ran a little bit over our intended price range. $41.50 was our final total. Although, in our defense, that included crackers. Yeah, a kind of weak defense, I know. Also in our defense, it was delicious.

And then you have people like Richard, who just can't appreciate a good cheese. He tried a tiny piece of the Prima Donna and spit it out in the trash. I tried to keep him away from the rest of the cheeses after that incident, but one day Kate and I were partying it up in the office and he decided to scoop up a finger full of the bleu. That was dumb. That bleu is the cheese with the physical bite. I tried to warn him.

So that's our cheese adventure. Kate and I have tried all of our cheeses, but I haven't finished writing about them all, obviously. Nonetheless, deliciousness.

And now, a brief summary of everything else going on in my life:

• The Couch center president (who just replaced the previous president over break) is resigning. I intend to apply for his position. I'll probably be running against Eddie. Final decisions will probably be made by Thursday night.
• Shannon is happily moved in. It's working out very well.
• I had my first physics test of the semester yesterday. It went... alright. Could have been better.
• I had my first math test of the semester sometime last week. 47/50. That's a lot better than the first test in the previous semester: 53/100 (class average 37/100). Yeah, I like this teacher a lot better.
• On the same day that I got my math test back, I also got back the first real programming project from my Programming for Non-Majors class. 600/600. Bitchin'.
• I've become nocturnal again. I'm working on adjusting that. Last night I was actually asleep by 1:00. The previous night, I didn't go to sleep until 6:30.
• Big dilemma going on regarding spring break.
  

Cheese

Prima Donna– Renowned for its caramel aftertaste, Primadonna is a mild cow’s milk cheese made in the style of a Holland Gouda but bears a distinctly less sharp, less penetrating flavor. It has an ivory rind with rose blush, a crunchy texture and a sweet, nutty flavor.

• Price: $16.99/lb
• Purchased: About 0.43lb
  
• Had a little trouble finding this "Caramel aftertaste" for a while, but I think I finally did

Cabecou– One of the smallest French cheeses, weighing in at only an ounce per piece, these are flat little discs of French goat cheese (with black peppercorns) wrapped in chestnut leaves soaked in brandy. Try with a white wine from the Loire Valley, or a red Bordeaux. Very tasty and pretty.

• Price: $3 (I already did the math on what this means per pound, and I don't want to talk about it)
  
• Purchased: One piece
• I don't particularly care for the taste of this one. It's a lot like tea, which is just weird. Worth trying, certainly, but I don't think I'd buy it again.
  

Black Mountain– Black Mountain is a combination of matured Welsh Cheddar, white wine, garlic and herbs, It’s balanced even though garlic’s side of the teeter totter’s closer to the ground. Winter nights made warmer with this one.

• Price: $19.99/lb
• Purchased: 0.21 lb
• OM NOM NOM! This cheese is freaking delicious. Sharp, garlicky, amazing.

Bleu D’Auvergne– From the Auvergne region in France & made only since the middle of the 19th century, it is made in the traditional manner from cow’s milk and features blue veining throughout. A moist, sticky rind conceals a soft paste that possesses a grassy, herbaceous, and (with age) spicy, pungent taste.

• Price: $14.99/lb
• Purchased: 0.29 lb
• Pungent is right. Sticky is also true. Most prominent, however, is the bite. Sure, you expect a blue to bit back, but this is physically painful. I'm not even sure how we're going to eat it all. Richard just came by and tried some (without a cracker) and decided it was nasty. Good for him. I think it's delicious.

Comte – French, very similar to Swiss Gruyere but a little more buttery and caramel-y tasting. Fabulous melted, make a Croque Monsier and drink a Cotes du Rhone.

• Price: $13.98/lb
• Purchased: 0.29 lb
• The description of this one is quite accurate. It's a firm cheese with a buttery, caramel-y taste, slightly sweet.

Petite Brebis– Made in the region around the Basque mountains this pure sheep’s milk cheese develops its reddish rind and aromatic taste during the ripening process which takes approximately five months. It has a deeply nutty taste with a firm crumbly texture.

• Price: $20.00/b
• Purchased: 0.12 lb
• Nutty, a little softer than the previous cheese. Very delicious. Not really crumbly. Definitely nutty. Melts in your mouth, with a slight bite in the aftertaste.

Brie Notre Dame -This is a soft cheese with dry rind and velvety white fungus. It belongs to the classic French cheeses and counts five centuries of history. With intense aromas and a fine, sweetish, nutty taste.

• Price: $10.00/lb
• Purchased: 0.25
• Buttery, extremely soft. The rind has a leafy taste. I'm really bad at describing cheeses.

Taleggio- The classic Italian washed-rind, this cheese is soft and velvety with a slightly salty, full flavor. The texture of the cheese is moist-to-oozy with a very pleasant melt-in-your-mouth feel. The combination of the soft texture, pungent aroma, and buttery flavors has proven to be addictive especially when spread on fresh crusty bread.

• Price: $13.99/lb
• Purchased: 0.29 lb
• Very very soft, needs to be spread on something. The rind is less leafy than the Brie. "Pungent Aroma," though, is code for "smells like feet." Nonetheless, it tastes delicious. This is the only thing stopping Kate and me from being connoisseurs: we keep calling it "feet cheese."

Murcia Al Vino – From Murica, Spain, a very agreeable moist goat’s milk cheese that is enhanced by the wine it’s soaked in.

• Price: $17.98/lb
• Purchased: 0.17 lb
• Leafy flavor, a lot like the Cabecou, but different. This one has a distinct wine flavor and it's simply more cheese-tasting.

More next time, including:

• Zamorano
• Grafton Maple-Smoked Cheddar
• An explanation of why I'm talking about cheese.
  

Planning ahead

I don't typically go for the whole "setting goals" thing, because either they don't get accomplished and then you feel like a failure, or they do get done, and then you set the bar too low for yourself. But I'm planning ahead for next year, and I'm excited. My hope for myself (goal, technically) is to be an RSA President next year. I'm still not sure if I'm going for Walker or Couch. Right now it sounds like there's someone else going for Walker, and she lives there so she probably cares more about getting that specific building. I know I won't get Adams (Richard is running again), so Couch is a realistic but still optimistic goal. The unfortunate bit is that I don't really know anyone at Couch. Anyway, that's my plan, my hope, my goal for next year (Well, it will all be decided by the end of March, really). My backup plan, then, is HCSA Secretary. The position comes with a lot of the same benefits and involvement, it's just different.

The way I see it, secretary has less variety. Same total amount of responsibility, but different types. As an RSA president, one must plan events, put in orders, run the events once they've been approved, etc. Secretary... well, I honestly don't know all of the responsibilities involved. I know the secretary is involved in the paperwork for RSA events. Secretary can (but isn't generally required to) take notes at General Council meetings. I assume there's more, but it's certainly more behind-the-scenes, or it was the way this year's secretary did it, anyway.

But for now, I have to just do the work that's already on my plate. I'm getting all my homework done without a problem. Yeah, sometimes there are late nights involved, and sometimes it's at the last minute, but it gets done. Meanwhile at work, I'm having a bit trouble... not blowing up. I have some new co-workers and they just aren't as... companionable as some of the people I've worked with in the past. Janiway (the "J" is pronounced like an "H") is the worst, by far. Everyone else tries to learn things. When the people with more seniority or authority ask them to do something, they do it. Janiway acts like she knows all better than we do. She claims to make fast sandwiches, although we all recognize that's not the case. And when we tried to do some training, she walked away and said "I already know how to do that." The first time I worked with her, I wasn't sure that she was an employee. It was a slow day, but she sat on the benches the whole time and talked on her phone. I'm guilty of occasionally answering my phone when there are no customers in the store, but rarely will I stay on it for more than a few minutes. She was on the phone for literally two hours. Maybe I don't get paid enough not to do that.

Blah, Mondays. In any case, it's time to pay attention in Physics now. After this, a quick bus ride to the Weather Center, a quick lab, and a quick ride back to the dorms (hopefully). And maybe I'll find a chance to sneak in a quick nap, too.

It was mostly sleet.

After 2.5 snow days, I have to say I'm surprised at how NOT well-rested I am. Obviously my own fault, but not much I can do about it now. I didn't get any homework done on my days off and instead put it off 'til Wednesday night. And then I only did what I absolutely had to, knowing I only have one class on Thursdays and could do it afterwards. So, after my Thursday class, I slept until 2. And then I got up and probably did absolutely nothing for a few hours.

Last night I sat in on Alice's office hours. I actually got some homework done, too. Still, only what I absolutely had to. And then I stayed down there and did some more homework after the hours ended. I finally went up to my room around 2 or so, took a shower, and crawled into bed to read my meteorology textbook. I was supposed to have Chapter 1 read by last Thursday and still haven't finished it. Once again, entirely my own fault.

Lots of emotional highs and lows lately, for no apparent reason. May be dorm life. Same thing happened a bit at the beginning of the year; suddenly being surrounded by the estrogen and other hormones of hundreds of teenage sorority girls (they act girlier than everyone else, so I assume their estrogen levels would be higher... or something... yeah, I'm making this all up) messes with my system.

Weird things have been going on at work. Katy is my super-amazing work friend. We chat, we make the harder "Daily Beautification" jobs more bearable for each other. But the other day, when I was checking to see if they even wanted me to come in--I had guessed we would have fewer customers due to the snow on the ground--I was told that our General Manager had resigned. Katy and I suspect he was being blamed for things that weren't entirely his fault. Wednesday Katy and I both worked 11-2. Around noon the regional director came in. Uh-oh. I'm pretty sure Alex's only real job is to make the rest of us miserable. You have to understand: these DBs wouldn't get done at all if people didn't amuse themselves while doing it. I know that if I had to scrub the walls of the entire store with windex and paper towels, I would take hours to do it--I wouldn't get anything else done and I probably wouldn't finish the job before the end of my shift. Katy and I worked togetnher, the job got done, no problems. But Alex made a big deal of splitting us up. Apparently there's some sort of inverse relationship between employee morale and productivity. I could have sworn that was supposed to be the other way around. In any case, the confusing part comes from the fact that our General Manager, Chris, now seems to be back. We have no idea what happened or what is happening. Just that it's confusing.

You can tell I'm from Minnesota because...

All I ever seem to talk about it the weather.

I woke up around 11:30 this morning, thankful for the chance to sleep in an having had no classes. It's fun. No less exciting than when you're a little kid and get a snow day. Except the little kids here in Oklahoma probably didn't get many snow days. Then again, neither did Minnesotan schools. So... yeah, they probably had more snow days than me in their lifetimes. ANYWAY, woke up at 11:30, messed around on the internet for 10 minutes or so, and then decided to look outside and see if the "icy conditions" that had canceled classes were worth all the hype.

I climbed past my stuff on the floor, over to the window, opened the blinds and... "HOLY SHIT." I'm the only one in the room, and actually said that out loud. Instead of tree limbs covered in ice, bending down in a curtsy, the ground, the cars, the parking lot were white! Covered in snow! Actual snow! And a reasonably significant amount, too (remember, it's all relative). There's enough snow on the ground that even though many people seem to have driven through the little parking lot outside my window, the whole thing is still covered in snow (to me anyway, that implies some depth). There's enough snow that people made snow angels out on a lawn across the parking lot. And it's really adorable, watching the officials try to react. I shouldn't laugh; they're trying to keep us safe. But when I see a pickup truck with a trailer carrying one of those little sidewalk plows... that's cute. And when I see another pickup with a plow on the front drive through twice and have apparently no effect (yes, the plow was down), that's cute, too.

Something is still falling from the sky, though I'm not sure what it is. Could be freezing rain, giving us a nice layer of ice on top of the snow, or more snow. Either way, this is exciting. And cute.

Classes canceled

Written before math class today, in a location where the internet didn't work:

When they talk about Spring Semester here, they really mean spring. During the first week of being back, we had a day where the high hit 80 degrees. Meanwhile at home I think it hit 34. I guess the heat wave hit the whole nation. 80, though… It was really beautiful out. I spent my evening lazing around, making any excuse to go outside, into the sun. Of course, when I went out onto the swings with Kate, I brought my textbook to read. Of course, I never cracked it open. So this whole issue raises an important question: How am I going to survive the actual springtime weather, when it’s like this all the time? Impossible.

Today is different, though. High of 28. At home, that sounds like nothing at all, but here that’s really cold. Freezing, technically. And to top it all off, we get freezing drizzle—an “ice storm” as they like to call it in these parts. From my point of view, that’s not so terrible, until I remember that my job includes riding my bike, sometimes miles, to deliver sandwiches.

As a continuation on that...

I didn't have to do any deliveries today. I actually warned my boss before signing up for the schedule that I wouldn't do deliveries if there was ice. So I didn't have to. That made things very easy, and work was good. The best part, though, was finding out that classes were canceled for the rest of the day. I had two classes before work and was supposed to have two after, but all classes after 1:30 were canceled, so instead I'm just sitting around my dorm.

The unfortunate result of this is that the post office is also closed, so I can't pick up the package that my parents sent me late last week. Well, there's no real rush, I guess.

I was hoping to take some pictures of the ice, particularly the way it piled up on my bike seat. A sheet of ice. I'm sure there will be more later (the storm is supposed to continue through tomorrow), so I'll post pictures as soon as possible.

Home, home in my igloo!

I'm finally back in Oklahoma. It's great, almost everything I imagined. But first I should finish telling about things back in MN.

I managed to survive driving with my dad. I think I lasted pretty well before my first on-the-road breakdown. Anyway, survival was about all that mattered. I didn't even care that much if I passed the driver's test--either way, my dad would get off my back, I think. Doesn't matter now, though, because I did pass. Yay! Licensed driver! And then I didn't drive until my very last day in town, because it was freaking cold out and I didn't want to step outside of the house even far enough to get in the car. Saturday, though, I went to Target with April, bought shoes, came back to the house, and then dropped her off at her own home. I daresay I didn't do badly. Of course, it helps that I'm a lot less nervous without my dad. Cute shoes, too, perfect for dancing--silvery and black flats.

We drove all day Sunday, starting around 7 in the morning. Kelly and I were both worried because we each had so much stuff, but it all fit, and the drive was pretty smooth. I drove for about an hour on the Kansas Turnpike, a slightly challenging feat, since her car has a stick shift, which I have never used before. She shifted it for me and just told me when to push the clutch. The highlight from each state:

• Minnesota: Umm... We left. That was nice.
• Iowa: We saw 87 or 88 cars in ditches in the first half of Iowa. The second half didn't have any snow or ice, so there weren't any at all. But right up until our stop in Ankeny, we were averaging one car every 2 miles or so, about 35/hour. And not just cars. Rolled-over trucks, jack-knifed semis, all that fun stuff. We made it safely, though.
• Missouri: a major radio station (can't remember which one) played Mm-Bop (Hansen) and two songs later Disturbia (Rihanna). This isn't odd because of the specific songs, but simply because Mm-Bop is so old, while Disturbia provides evidence that the station intends to play popular music.
• Kansas: Probably the part where I drove. Didn't really do much there.
• Oklahoma: Arrival. Shannon, Richard, Jay, and Hannah all helped me unpack, and I felt very loved. I dumped my stuff and we all hung out for the night.

And now for the bits about actually being back... Classes started this Tuesday, the 20th, same day as President Obama's inauguration. I'm sure I've mentioned it about thirty times already, but I have classes every day at 8:30am. Yeah, it sucks, but it's not quite as bad as I expected. My first class Tuesday was Introduction to Meteorology I. It should be a fun class; I like the professor a lot. Next was my physics discussion. Just took a survey there, so it's hard to say what that will be like. Mostly graded on participation, though, I'm guessing. Then I had a lengthy break in the day and Freshman Engineering Orientation II. That's complicated. As you may have noticed, I never took Engineering Orientation I. Well, I is basically the same format as Orientation to Professional Meteorology--guest lecturers come in every week and tell you about a type of career you can have with a degree in engineering. II is different. Most of them, it seems, are centered around different types of projects. As for the one that fit my schedule... well, I'm not excited. Basically I go to the actual class once per month and then twice per month I'm supposed to go to elementary schools and teach little kids about science. Ew, little kids. Ew, teaching. Ew, finding a way to get to various elementary schools in the Norman area. Richard offered to let me use his car if I need to. Still, ew.

Here's what I'm hoping to do:
I've signed up on an "interest list" for Intermediate Microeconomic Theory, the next class that will hopefully be part of my econ minor. There are no spots available, except in the honors section of the class, which I am not eligible for. There are two full sections which would fit into my schedule so far if I drop the engineering class. I'm 1/1 on the list for one of them, 7/7 on the other. So all I need is for one person to drop the class and I'll have a spot and drop engineering, take Orientation I next semester/year. Certainly it's not optimal: putting off a freshman class until sophomore year is... not standard, anyway. But I'm hoping I'll e alright, since I'm ahead in physics and math.

As for today's schedule: I had Calc right away at 8:30. It wasn't too bad. I actually have a friend in the class, and the professor seems better than last semester's. I had 10 minutes then to cross campus from the far West end to the far East to get to Programming. It's not ideal, but it's the only time the class is offered, so I'll deal. The teacher is pretty strict. I'm sure he's a fine teacher, and I'm still looking forward to the class. His grading standard seems quite reasonable. My one problem with him is his attitude. Basically, it seems like since he knows he's better than us in this one subject, he assumes and acts like he is better than us and knows more than us about all aspects of life. Yes, he has more life experience, but it's important not to be condescending. After that I had work--lots of fun with buddy Katy, who I know work with twice a week, 3 hours per shift, as opposed to one hour a week in fall. After work, Physics. The professor seems cool. He's fun, he has stories to tell, and he has a lot to say, but not so much that it'll be hard to keep up. I hope.

I got my mail today and found out that someone in the universe loves me and someone else in the universe hates me. The "love" part, believe it or not, comes from my bursar bill. Lower than I expected, should be manageable, as long as I don't spend my next two paychecks. The "hate" is from the post office. My last textbook that I ordered finally arrived, which is excellent because I have a reading assignment from that book due tomorrow morning at 8:30. Oh, but the slip was put in my box about 5 minutes before the post office closed and I didn't actually get my mail until 10 minutes later. Post office was closed, doesn't open again 'til 8:30. Hopefully won't be a big deal. I'll probably read the equivalent chapter from the other textbook for that class. Hopefully it will be close enough.

Home again

I realize I haven't posted in a really long time. This is partially related to the fact that I've been with most of the people who read this blog. That defense provided, there's really no excuse for this kind of laziness and it is my intention to immediately fix this issue.

Home has been stressful. That's no shocker. I try not to whine about it to my friends too much. I mean, I really have nothing to complain about. But just being here kind of brings me down. Part of it is my dad. He doesn't try, I swear, but sometimes he's just too much to handle. And, no, I don't want to go driving with him, but I apparently have no other choice.

I haven't seen my friends from these parts as much as I would like to, but I'm hoping to visit a bit more. I still have Nyssa and Briana's Christmas presents to deliver. I still owe Libby and David presents, too, but I actually haven't bought them yet (sorry, guys, if you're reading this). I've only seen Akshatha once, and from what I can tell she'll probably be out of town rather early, too.

Personally, I'd be all for hitting the road as soon as possible. We can move back in at OU January 13, but classes don't start until January 20, so I'm guessing the rest of the Minnesota folks will probably wait a few days. If they're leaving on the 17th or later, I'm may put in the extra $35 to take the Greyhound bus instead of driving. It would be worth it.

Even more generally, though, than being around my dad and not seeing my friends a whole lot, I'm just not really feeling myself the last two days. I suppose I can blame the drugs. My wisdom teeth are out and one of the drugs they gave me was a steroid which may cause moodiness. Still, I think it will help to be back on campus, back with my friends. I want to fix my sleep schedule. I want to sell my old books and buy my new ones. I want to return to work; I have friends there and I need the money. I'm surviving on minimal spending so far over break, but I still have the aforementioned Christmas presents to buy, and a few others for people I know at school.

Hm... it being New Year's Day, I'm sure I'm supposed to mention that. Perhaps I should be marking how far I've come in a year or mention what it is I want to accomplish before next year... Maybe later tonight (goal number one: procrastinate less? ha, like that'll happen.)

1 down, 3 to go

But more important than finals:

1. Sam Bradford ("my boyfriend"--I wish) won the Heisman. BOOMER SOONER!
2. The same night he did that, I saw the play "Dog Sees God," a parody of sorts on Charles M. Schulz's Peanuts comics. The premise behind the play is "what if the characters grew up and went to high school?" I had seen bits of it used before as a speech piece, but the show as a whole is definitely worth seeing. By the end, I was crying my eyes out, hugging the friends I was with, and in a general "I love you, everybody!" type mood. Alice actually acted on that and texted "I love you" to everyone in her cell phone (including her ex-boyfriend, someone who she doesn't know, and Kate and me, who were sitting at the table with her at the time). It deals with serious issues, but it's also comedic. Moreover, the acting was phenomenal. Nothing was overdone, nothing seemed forced. It was pretty much perfect--impressive, considering this was actually just a play being put on by one of the freshman-level acting classes.

Finally, finals. I took my German final this morning, finished in less than an hour. I think it went well. I know I missed one grammar thing and one or two questions based on our readings, but otherwise I think I did well. Chem tonight, Calc tomorrow morning, Music Thursday. Time to study!

Finals Time

Ew.

I could end the post there, but I won't.

I am currently in the middle of Dead Week, the week before finals. To my knowledge, OU does not officially recognize Dead Week. Some schools will give you the week off of classes so you can study for finals. Others will at least give you the last Thursday and Friday before finals off. I heard rumor that OU has a policy that no assignment or test or anything worth more than 5% of your total grade will be given during the course of the week. But I've also had friends who have had to turn in major papers this week, so that rumor may have no truth to it whatsoever.

In order to deprive myself of potential distractions, I asked Shannon to change my facebook password for me for the next two weeks. She's on strict orders to log me in if I ask her to, but since I am always afraid of being an annoyance, I don't ask often. Even so, she sometimes refuses to log me in, probably for the best of all possible reasons.

My finals schedule goes like this:
Monday 8:00-10:00 AM German (this final is cumulative, and I'm somewhat worried about it--10% of our final grade)
Monday 7:30-9:30 PM Chemistry (Not cumulative, but essentially it covers the entire second half of the semester. I'm not entirely worried, but I definitely need to study)
Tuesday 8:00-10:00 AM Calc (Ew. Just... ew. Cumulative, extremely important. Rather worried, especially since I won't have much time to study between Chem and Calc)
Thursday 8:00-10:00 AM Understanding Music (I'm not really worried about it. Not cumulative. But I definitely need to review my notes and read the assigned pages in the book)

As far as I can tell, I'll be leaving OU late Friday morning, but I'm not absolutely sure. It might turn into early afternoon. All I know is that I don't have a final that morning but the person I'm riding with does. I know also that I need to pick up my check from work before I leave. Fortunately, our winter schedule (which I am not on, seeing as I'll be out of town) starts that week, so I won't have to work in between finals. Lots of studying. Yay, I guess.

Thursday afternoon-night I guess I'll be packing and cleaning up the RSA office. Yay. Not a whole lot of fun, but it needs to be done. I'm still trying to figure out what I'll need to bring home. And I'm worried about all my food going bad. I have way too much food in this room. It may be a problem.

It will be less of a problem after break, though, because Shannon will be moving in, and then I'll have a roommate to help me eat all my food. And then I'll have a roommate to do Hip-Hop Abs with.

Welcome Home

Being back in Minnesota was a nice change of pace, but I'm really glad to be back. Well, except for the fact that I'm all alone.

I arrived back in Minnesota on Tuesday night, right on schedule. I made my way through the airport, debated picking up Caribou in the airport, decided against it, went to the car. From there, I greeted Akshatha and my father, and then got Caribou in Apple Valley. We dropped Akshatha at her house briefly so I could get all my stuff out of the car and settle in at home a bit, then made our way to Perkins for a get-together with a few friends. In total, there were eight of us and, well, I tried. I tried to help everyone get along. I tried to make it a fun night for all involved. Inevitably, though, there was some awkwardness, because the people there represented four different groups I hang out with.

After dinner, April drove me home and we hung out in the driveway for a while, just chatting. I filled her in on the goings-on at OU, the experiences I've had, the friends I've made, the groups I've joined. She filled me in on everything that she is still up to. It was really nice; we connected just like the old days. We had kind of stopped hanging out in the later years of high school, mostly because she went to SES and simply wasn't around as much. Still, we seemed to pick up almost exactly where we left off.

Wednesday I visited the high school with Akshatha. We got to see a lot of our old teachers, although I can think of at least two that we missed, and that made me quite sad. After that, I had a dentist appointment, was warned to floss more (and I have since then, but we'll see how long it lasts).

Thursday we cooked food and ate food and enjoyed food and each other's company as a family: my mother and father, my sister and her husband, and me. Things went mostly smoothly, I think. Around 6 p.m. I fell asleep for about an hour on the loveseat. When I woke up, I decided to just go to bed--Big shopping plans for the morning. Unfortunately, I was unable to get myself back to sleep. I finished the book I was reading (very good), took a shower, and dinked around on the computer until about 2 a.m. By 3:40 I was up, dressed, in the car, and in the Kohl's parking lot, gawking at the length of the line. It was my first Black Friday shopping experience (and you never forget your first time).

We made it out of Kohl's by 5:30. At least half the time spent in that store was spent standing in line to check out. After that, Akshatha and I went to the Mall of America. It was shockingly slow there at that hour. I suppose there were a ton of people, but we were all so spread out that it didn't seem very busy at all. I took a bunch of pictures and acted like a tourist so that all my friends back in Oklahoma would get to see what the mall is like. I hope they are pleased. I also hope everyone is pleased by their amazing Christmas presents! I'm almost halfway done with that part of shopping now, and I have probably increased my own wardrobe by 50%. Not that that takes much, given how small my wardrobe is. Furthermore, I know Akshatha is pleased, because I introduced her to her new favorite store, Charlotte Russe. We both picked up applications in hopes of working there this summer or winter or something. After a full day of exhausting, painful shopping, we left the mall at about 2:00.

Saturday was a family gathering. There was a lot of prep involved, but we got it done, and that's all that really matters. I also got my Raspberry Mountain Dew from Kwik Trip, so it can't have been a total failure of a day.

At 1 on Sunday morning, I got together with Nyssa and David. Nyssa transferred me a bunch of music as well as D&D books, which makes me very happy. What does not make me happy is the fact that NONE of the Kate Nash music worked... :( It may not be a complete dead end. Perhaps it just needs to be converted or something. Then we went to Denny's, laughed a bunch, ran to Walmart and picked up a $6 swimsuit with the intentions of hitting the hot tub. That plan fell apart when Nyssa and I realized that we were dead tired and it was 4 a.m.

10 a.m. brunch with the direct family plus my aunt and uncle. 1 p.m. departure from the MSP airport to OKC. The plane coming back was nicer than the first one, and I got a window seat. Yay. A friend gave me a ride back to campus, because he was driving back from his house after break and the airport was basically on the way. It turns out that he and I are closer friends than I would have originally thought, and that's nice. I spent the rest of this evening napping instead of going to the concert I was supposed to go to. This leaves me a two options: 1. see if Shannon or Eddie or Thom has an extra program around from Eddie's concert and look the songs up on YouTube, or 2. Go to the concert tomorrow night at 8 p.m., which would mean biking straight from General Council to Catlett in quite a hurry and missing the RSA meeting. I don't know. The meeting might be important, since there's an event Tuesday night and we still need to make/hang publicity.

One last fun tidbit about the weekend: one friend specifically mentioned to me that she liked how "passionate" I am about everything, while another informed me that someone had referred to me as a "sheep," just a follower of the crowd. I don't particularly agree with either, though there may be truths to both, but I find the contrast very interesting. We see people how we want to see them.

Another change in plans?

Maybe I will be getting a roommate after all, but this time there's really no anxiety involved in the change. Shannon and roommate are having serious issues. I will detail those at a later date, because right now I kind of want to sleep, but basically it will come down to one of them moving out. If that one happens to be Alicia, fine. That means Shannon and I will both have singles. If it's Shannon, she's coming to join me. I know that will work out because we're basically best friends, we have the same sleep schedules, the same friends, the same shoe size, the same Blue Man Group t-shirt, had the same job at Papa Murphy's... It will work out. I just don't want to see her in the kind of emotional turmoil Alicia puts her through. It really hurts me to see her so upset.

Perhaps I sympathize too strongly.

Sleep=fail

I probably will not sleep properly for the next several days.

Friday night: Work, RSA Event (Bring Your Own Game Night)
Saturday: Work, hanging out with Alice and Shannon
Wee hours of Sunday morning: Taking Alice to the airport so she can go home to New Jersey. Walmart run?
Sunday: Maybe I'll sleep a little, but I imagine I'll try to get homework done as well. Then, a concert so I can do a concert report for Understanding Music.
Monday: Classes, more classes, meetings, more meetings, Thanksgiving event for RSA (Gobblin' Good Time!)
Tuesday: Math, then to the airport a bit early so Kate can catch her 4:00 flight home to CT. My flight leaves at 5:47, and I'll be home around 7:57, I think.

Hopefully I'll manage to get several hours of sleep on the two-hour flight, because I don't really intend to sleep over break either, sadly. As it turns out, I want to spend every waking moment visitng people, but there just aren't enough waking moments in days when you waste 8 hours sleeping.

As one friend put it:

basically you can never have enough time to do the things you want to do

but some things are more important then others

and for us...sleep is not that important

Good day

1) No new roommate. I was supposed to be getting one over the weekend, but she never came. I now have official word from my RA that she will not be coming. Something has changed (I don't know what or why). Whatever, that's fine by me. And once again, I probably won't be getting a new roommate at least until next semester. I could set up the guest bed again!

2) I've only gone to one class so far this week, but I don't think there will be any repercussions for it. I missed German, Understanding Music, and Chem lecture on Monday. The only one that isn't a giant lecture is German, but I e-mailed the teacher and she was very understanding. I explained (truthfully) that I was sick and didn't think it a good idea to attend class that morning. I didn't go to Goddard, but I am feeling much better now, so I'm not going to worry about it. Then today (yesterday, technically) I didn't go to math, once again because I woke up feeling somewhat ill (and also extremely tired). Then I got up later and headed to my chem recitation, but I arrived ten minutes late and class was already out. Nobody was left in the classroom. I called my lab partner; I had missed a bunch of exciting announcements that can basically be summed up by saying that the only class we have for the next three weeks is to check out of the lab. Awesome. So that's all good.

3) I made Akshatha extremely jealous, and every single one of you should be jealous as well: PostSecret's Frank Warren is coming to OU December 3rd! Squee! I'll definitely be attending and hopefully be getting my PostSecret book signed. Also, over break I'm going to go to the Minneapolis Public Library with Akshatha, because there's a PostSecret exhibit going on there through November 30th. Once again, squee!

4) Indian music! After my brief re-exposure to Indian music in Texas, I needed more so a friend of Akshatha's e-mailed me some, and now I have 6 songs or something. When I get home for Thanksgiving, I expect that collection to expand about 6 times over, at least.

5) Spaghettios, Grape Pop, Pizza Rolls, StumbleUpon. (One of these things is not quite like the others. Also, far more addicting)

Let's hope this all lasts.

Texas

Did you know...

In Texas, the state flag is allowed to be flown higher than the U.S. flag? And quite often it is. The biggest thing I've noticed about Texas is that the people there have a lot of pride in their state. "Don't Mess With Texas" bumper stickers, the flag everywhere (a giant one was stretched across the visitors' side of the stadium at the drumline competition we went to), just... everywhere. Every bank had the word "Texas" in its name. So you'll never be in Texas without knowing it.

Anyway, I enjoyed Texas. Number one favorite thing: the Indian radio station. <3 Yay, Hindi music! It made me so happy. The only problem was that they didn't actually play as much music as I'd have liked. Lots and lots of talking. Oh, well. The other unfortunate bit was that my MP3 player couldn't pick it up, so I couldn't listen to it at night and stuff. Oh, well.

So, Saturday night we went to a drumline competition. I had a ton of fun, even though we actually didn't stay for much of it. It was kind of cold out, only about 40 degrees (reminded me of marching band season at home). I started reminiscing about pit. I miss it, but I'm still glad I switced to sax. Still, if our school had winter drumline, I'd have done it. We left after seeing only a few drumlines perform, though, because Shannon (Texan) and Richard (Californian) were cold. I'll post pictures, maybe, if I feel like it.

That's how rumors get started

Haven't updated in more than a week--that's got to be a new record! Basically it comes down to the fact that things have been really odd lately, and I wanted to get them sorted out before telling too much about the details. I wasn't really sure where things were going or what was happening, but now I know, and now y'all (I still laugh at that word) will, too.

The real source of confusion and mayhem was, naturally, boys. Kingsley and I were getting along very well, even though we didn't exactly see each other very often over the last week. That may have something to do with the fact that I was avoiding him, I guess. Well, we kissed. That's as much I'm saying on that matter. Eventually, though, I stopped and asked where, exactly, it was going. After a whole lot of beating around the bush, he said "We can start dating, if that's what you want." Well, I thought it was. And then two days later I realized that I enjoyed his attention more than his actual company, and I avoided him for a while and then talked to him in private and told him that. He only said "Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me," and walked away. Alright, well, it was over with, and so I was relieved, and that's all that really mattered. Oh, wait. It's never that simple. So the next day he start chatting with me online and said it was his turn to talk. I agreed to meet with him, because I felt like that was only fair. I had a pretty sudden change in attitude and he hadn't asked me to elaborate before at all. So I kind of avoided him for a while, but in a relatively cooperative way. I texted him when I was done with class. He didn't respond, so I went out with Shannon and then he texted me while I was with her, and I told him I'd text on my way back, and he didn't really say much in response and then I had a chem test and, long story short, we didn't actually end up talking until about 12 am Thursday night.

In our talk we ended up discussing the fact that, yes, I am looking for a relationship, but that neither of us actually felt much of a "spark." To him, that doesn't matter, apparently. I won't divulge too much (not my stories to tell), but basically he has a bunch of messed up relationships in his past and he no longer has any motivation to get into a long-term relationship. That, however, is exactly what I'm going for. I want the kind of relationship... well, the kind that could eventually lead to heartbreak. Not that I want that pain, by any means, but I want to care about someone that much and to be that close to them. He mostly just wants a warm body to snuggle up against. So we came to the agreement that everything was probably for the best if we didn't get involved any further and that's that. Friends, I guess.

Hardly of any importance now, though. I'm in Texas! Richard and I accompanied Shannon home this weekend, to Grapevine, and that is where I am typing to you from now. But details on that tomorrow, I think, while I'm avoiding homework. In the meantime, movie!

Bitter

I should be in Arkansas right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to my weekend of hanging out and watching chick flicks with Shannon, but I should be there. It doesn't make any sense.

This weekend is SWACURH (Southwest Association of College and University Residence Halls). It's a leadership conference-type thing, and it's bound to be amazing and a ton of fun, and useful for anyone who intends to run for an HCSA office next year (yes, that includes me). But you could only go, to represent OU, by application. Richard had all of the Adams RSA execs fill out the apps--Alice, Eddie, Chelsey, and myself. A few other people from Adams filled it out too. I'm the only one of the execs, though, who isn't going. I was chosen as a "delegate alternate" rather than a delegate. So... what makes Alice and Chelsey more worthy of going than myself? Especially since Richard told me to list "lead executive member" on my application rather than just "executive member" like the other two girls... It doesn't make any sense. So I e-mailed Deb, the HCSA official who got the privilege of sending out the notifications to everyone, and asked her, for future reference, what things on my application could have made the difference. After a few days, she talked to the committee and got back to me.

GPA.

WTF?! With a high school GPA of 3.8 and 22 credits from the University of Minnesota totaling a GPA of 3.57, you'd think that pretty much beats out the other freshwomen who applied (only comparing myself to the women because they intentionally chose 4 men, 4 women). I talked to Alice-both of those are higher than the GPA she listed. This makes no sense. Honestly, I felt really confident with my application. My answers to the questions were sincere and still contained the information it seemed like they were looking for. Furthermore, Richard reviewed all of our applications before we turned them in, and he was confident that I would make it (less confident in Alice).

I feel like a bitch. Alice is a good person. She deserves to go. But I'm trying to be objective and she's the only one I have to compare this to, because I don't know about Chelsey's GPA or anything, and I don't know anything about the two Michelles who are also going except that they're upperclassmen.

I should be there, though.

And the worst part is that this whole thing feels just like high school all over again. Repeatedly, I applied for all sorts of leadership positions. I tried out for Drum Major three years in a row. I applied for a section leader position my senior year. I applied to be a speech captain twice (and then we ended up with Kate? Seriously, Kate?). It's just so frustrating.

I should be in Arkansas. Instead, I'm sitting all alone in the empty RSA office. Not a single person has come in all night, because it's Thirsty Thursday and theyr'e all out partying. Everyone is out of town except Shannon, who has class until 9:20. And... and I should be in Arkansas.

And more weather and lolz

Storm clouds looming overhead, severe weather watch, tornado watch. None of this would shock me; it's Oklahoma, after all. But seriously, NOVEMBER. What part of late autumn does Mother Nature not understand? And why does she only have trouble understanding it in terms of its application to this area? Not that I mind. Storms are good. Fun to look at, fun to keep track of. Which is exactly what I'm doing. I tried to find a good spot on the main part of campus to observe from, but failed miserably at that, so instead I am in the library.

Reminder: the people here are great.

Walking to the computer I am now sitting at I passed a kid with the radar up (not surprising, but still interesting). Yeah, I'll be bringing up the radar on my own computer in a minute. Or right now, actually. Multiple radars. Anyway, the next computer I noticed had a scholarly article up on it. I will probably try to find it and link it here eventually, because I am that amused by the title.

"Can you hear me now? The impact of voice on an online gaming community."

lol.

Weather and Guys...

As promised in my last post...

The weather here is ridiculously warm. I was severely disappointed last week when I missed the first snow at home. I'm still not sure how much snow there was back there, but it was in the 70s here, so I didn't feel any of it. Today it's supposed to be in the high 70s as well. It's ridiculous. I just want to scream "C'MON OKLAHOMA! IT'S NOVEMBER!" But Oklahoma won't listen anyway, and it would embarrass my friends.

And, before I move on to the "guys" part, I have an announcement, for those who have not heard already. I dyed my hair! It's reddish, on the strawberry side of strawberry blonde. E-mail me for pictures!

And now back to your regularly scheduled drama.

Last weekend (Saturday, 25 October, I believe), I went dancing again with the usual crowd plus Hannah (a sophomore friend from RSA/hcsa and MN), Alan (an awkward Asian kid who wrote in a facebook note that he was "only there for research"), Kingsley (who lives across the hall from Richard and whom I had never met before), and Brittany (Britney? No idea. A random friend of Alicia's). There wasn't a whole lot of dancing with strangers this time. At the beginning of the night I was dancing with Hannah. Some guy randomly came up to us said his two friends just came from Brazil and they don't know how to dance, would we teach them? Yeah, not that gullible, but all for dancing. Unfortunately, Hannah, the more outgoing dancer between the two of us, got paired up with apparently the more outgoing guy, so my dance didn't last very long. But then Kingsley came over and we were basically dancing together all night. Like, I honestly didn't dance with anyone else (excluding the moments with Alicia, while I was trying to pull her away from the guy who bought her two drinks). More interesting events during the night, but basically the short version of it all is this: Kingsley.

So now I have issues again. Kingsley very clearly likes me. He goes out of his way to come visit me. He dragged me off alone one night to Crossroads. And everyone else seems to want this relationship to happen: Richard won't let it go, Shannon thinks it's a good idea, Alice practically already considers us a couple (saying she feels like she's the only non-couple one because her boyfriend is still in NJ). But I'm not so sure. Part of me says, "Go for it Sarah, it's a great opportunity. He's a nice guy" (Shannon agrees with this part). But the other part of me is nearly positive that I'm not really interested in him, just enjoying the attention, which means it's wrong for me to lead him on (Alice is leaning towards this side). I seem to have done that once before, kind of, and it ended, on my part anyway, awkwardly. He's a nice guy, and I could see us being good friends, but I just don't think I have the right reasons, as usual. Screw reason. Reason isn't a whole lot of fun.

Any tips?