It was mostly sleet.

After 2.5 snow days, I have to say I'm surprised at how NOT well-rested I am. Obviously my own fault, but not much I can do about it now. I didn't get any homework done on my days off and instead put it off 'til Wednesday night. And then I only did what I absolutely had to, knowing I only have one class on Thursdays and could do it afterwards. So, after my Thursday class, I slept until 2. And then I got up and probably did absolutely nothing for a few hours.

Last night I sat in on Alice's office hours. I actually got some homework done, too. Still, only what I absolutely had to. And then I stayed down there and did some more homework after the hours ended. I finally went up to my room around 2 or so, took a shower, and crawled into bed to read my meteorology textbook. I was supposed to have Chapter 1 read by last Thursday and still haven't finished it. Once again, entirely my own fault.

Lots of emotional highs and lows lately, for no apparent reason. May be dorm life. Same thing happened a bit at the beginning of the year; suddenly being surrounded by the estrogen and other hormones of hundreds of teenage sorority girls (they act girlier than everyone else, so I assume their estrogen levels would be higher... or something... yeah, I'm making this all up) messes with my system.

Weird things have been going on at work. Katy is my super-amazing work friend. We chat, we make the harder "Daily Beautification" jobs more bearable for each other. But the other day, when I was checking to see if they even wanted me to come in--I had guessed we would have fewer customers due to the snow on the ground--I was told that our General Manager had resigned. Katy and I suspect he was being blamed for things that weren't entirely his fault. Wednesday Katy and I both worked 11-2. Around noon the regional director came in. Uh-oh. I'm pretty sure Alex's only real job is to make the rest of us miserable. You have to understand: these DBs wouldn't get done at all if people didn't amuse themselves while doing it. I know that if I had to scrub the walls of the entire store with windex and paper towels, I would take hours to do it--I wouldn't get anything else done and I probably wouldn't finish the job before the end of my shift. Katy and I worked togetnher, the job got done, no problems. But Alex made a big deal of splitting us up. Apparently there's some sort of inverse relationship between employee morale and productivity. I could have sworn that was supposed to be the other way around. In any case, the confusing part comes from the fact that our General Manager, Chris, now seems to be back. We have no idea what happened or what is happening. Just that it's confusing.

You can tell I'm from Minnesota because...

All I ever seem to talk about it the weather.

I woke up around 11:30 this morning, thankful for the chance to sleep in an having had no classes. It's fun. No less exciting than when you're a little kid and get a snow day. Except the little kids here in Oklahoma probably didn't get many snow days. Then again, neither did Minnesotan schools. So... yeah, they probably had more snow days than me in their lifetimes. ANYWAY, woke up at 11:30, messed around on the internet for 10 minutes or so, and then decided to look outside and see if the "icy conditions" that had canceled classes were worth all the hype.

I climbed past my stuff on the floor, over to the window, opened the blinds and... "HOLY SHIT." I'm the only one in the room, and actually said that out loud. Instead of tree limbs covered in ice, bending down in a curtsy, the ground, the cars, the parking lot were white! Covered in snow! Actual snow! And a reasonably significant amount, too (remember, it's all relative). There's enough snow on the ground that even though many people seem to have driven through the little parking lot outside my window, the whole thing is still covered in snow (to me anyway, that implies some depth). There's enough snow that people made snow angels out on a lawn across the parking lot. And it's really adorable, watching the officials try to react. I shouldn't laugh; they're trying to keep us safe. But when I see a pickup truck with a trailer carrying one of those little sidewalk plows... that's cute. And when I see another pickup with a plow on the front drive through twice and have apparently no effect (yes, the plow was down), that's cute, too.

Something is still falling from the sky, though I'm not sure what it is. Could be freezing rain, giving us a nice layer of ice on top of the snow, or more snow. Either way, this is exciting. And cute.

Classes canceled

Written before math class today, in a location where the internet didn't work:

When they talk about Spring Semester here, they really mean spring. During the first week of being back, we had a day where the high hit 80 degrees. Meanwhile at home I think it hit 34. I guess the heat wave hit the whole nation. 80, though… It was really beautiful out. I spent my evening lazing around, making any excuse to go outside, into the sun. Of course, when I went out onto the swings with Kate, I brought my textbook to read. Of course, I never cracked it open. So this whole issue raises an important question: How am I going to survive the actual springtime weather, when it’s like this all the time? Impossible.

Today is different, though. High of 28. At home, that sounds like nothing at all, but here that’s really cold. Freezing, technically. And to top it all off, we get freezing drizzle—an “ice storm” as they like to call it in these parts. From my point of view, that’s not so terrible, until I remember that my job includes riding my bike, sometimes miles, to deliver sandwiches.

As a continuation on that...

I didn't have to do any deliveries today. I actually warned my boss before signing up for the schedule that I wouldn't do deliveries if there was ice. So I didn't have to. That made things very easy, and work was good. The best part, though, was finding out that classes were canceled for the rest of the day. I had two classes before work and was supposed to have two after, but all classes after 1:30 were canceled, so instead I'm just sitting around my dorm.

The unfortunate result of this is that the post office is also closed, so I can't pick up the package that my parents sent me late last week. Well, there's no real rush, I guess.

I was hoping to take some pictures of the ice, particularly the way it piled up on my bike seat. A sheet of ice. I'm sure there will be more later (the storm is supposed to continue through tomorrow), so I'll post pictures as soon as possible.

Home, home in my igloo!

I'm finally back in Oklahoma. It's great, almost everything I imagined. But first I should finish telling about things back in MN.

I managed to survive driving with my dad. I think I lasted pretty well before my first on-the-road breakdown. Anyway, survival was about all that mattered. I didn't even care that much if I passed the driver's test--either way, my dad would get off my back, I think. Doesn't matter now, though, because I did pass. Yay! Licensed driver! And then I didn't drive until my very last day in town, because it was freaking cold out and I didn't want to step outside of the house even far enough to get in the car. Saturday, though, I went to Target with April, bought shoes, came back to the house, and then dropped her off at her own home. I daresay I didn't do badly. Of course, it helps that I'm a lot less nervous without my dad. Cute shoes, too, perfect for dancing--silvery and black flats.

We drove all day Sunday, starting around 7 in the morning. Kelly and I were both worried because we each had so much stuff, but it all fit, and the drive was pretty smooth. I drove for about an hour on the Kansas Turnpike, a slightly challenging feat, since her car has a stick shift, which I have never used before. She shifted it for me and just told me when to push the clutch. The highlight from each state:

• Minnesota: Umm... We left. That was nice.
• Iowa: We saw 87 or 88 cars in ditches in the first half of Iowa. The second half didn't have any snow or ice, so there weren't any at all. But right up until our stop in Ankeny, we were averaging one car every 2 miles or so, about 35/hour. And not just cars. Rolled-over trucks, jack-knifed semis, all that fun stuff. We made it safely, though.
• Missouri: a major radio station (can't remember which one) played Mm-Bop (Hansen) and two songs later Disturbia (Rihanna). This isn't odd because of the specific songs, but simply because Mm-Bop is so old, while Disturbia provides evidence that the station intends to play popular music.
• Kansas: Probably the part where I drove. Didn't really do much there.
• Oklahoma: Arrival. Shannon, Richard, Jay, and Hannah all helped me unpack, and I felt very loved. I dumped my stuff and we all hung out for the night.

And now for the bits about actually being back... Classes started this Tuesday, the 20th, same day as President Obama's inauguration. I'm sure I've mentioned it about thirty times already, but I have classes every day at 8:30am. Yeah, it sucks, but it's not quite as bad as I expected. My first class Tuesday was Introduction to Meteorology I. It should be a fun class; I like the professor a lot. Next was my physics discussion. Just took a survey there, so it's hard to say what that will be like. Mostly graded on participation, though, I'm guessing. Then I had a lengthy break in the day and Freshman Engineering Orientation II. That's complicated. As you may have noticed, I never took Engineering Orientation I. Well, I is basically the same format as Orientation to Professional Meteorology--guest lecturers come in every week and tell you about a type of career you can have with a degree in engineering. II is different. Most of them, it seems, are centered around different types of projects. As for the one that fit my schedule... well, I'm not excited. Basically I go to the actual class once per month and then twice per month I'm supposed to go to elementary schools and teach little kids about science. Ew, little kids. Ew, teaching. Ew, finding a way to get to various elementary schools in the Norman area. Richard offered to let me use his car if I need to. Still, ew.

Here's what I'm hoping to do:
I've signed up on an "interest list" for Intermediate Microeconomic Theory, the next class that will hopefully be part of my econ minor. There are no spots available, except in the honors section of the class, which I am not eligible for. There are two full sections which would fit into my schedule so far if I drop the engineering class. I'm 1/1 on the list for one of them, 7/7 on the other. So all I need is for one person to drop the class and I'll have a spot and drop engineering, take Orientation I next semester/year. Certainly it's not optimal: putting off a freshman class until sophomore year is... not standard, anyway. But I'm hoping I'll e alright, since I'm ahead in physics and math.

As for today's schedule: I had Calc right away at 8:30. It wasn't too bad. I actually have a friend in the class, and the professor seems better than last semester's. I had 10 minutes then to cross campus from the far West end to the far East to get to Programming. It's not ideal, but it's the only time the class is offered, so I'll deal. The teacher is pretty strict. I'm sure he's a fine teacher, and I'm still looking forward to the class. His grading standard seems quite reasonable. My one problem with him is his attitude. Basically, it seems like since he knows he's better than us in this one subject, he assumes and acts like he is better than us and knows more than us about all aspects of life. Yes, he has more life experience, but it's important not to be condescending. After that I had work--lots of fun with buddy Katy, who I know work with twice a week, 3 hours per shift, as opposed to one hour a week in fall. After work, Physics. The professor seems cool. He's fun, he has stories to tell, and he has a lot to say, but not so much that it'll be hard to keep up. I hope.

I got my mail today and found out that someone in the universe loves me and someone else in the universe hates me. The "love" part, believe it or not, comes from my bursar bill. Lower than I expected, should be manageable, as long as I don't spend my next two paychecks. The "hate" is from the post office. My last textbook that I ordered finally arrived, which is excellent because I have a reading assignment from that book due tomorrow morning at 8:30. Oh, but the slip was put in my box about 5 minutes before the post office closed and I didn't actually get my mail until 10 minutes later. Post office was closed, doesn't open again 'til 8:30. Hopefully won't be a big deal. I'll probably read the equivalent chapter from the other textbook for that class. Hopefully it will be close enough.

Home again

I realize I haven't posted in a really long time. This is partially related to the fact that I've been with most of the people who read this blog. That defense provided, there's really no excuse for this kind of laziness and it is my intention to immediately fix this issue.

Home has been stressful. That's no shocker. I try not to whine about it to my friends too much. I mean, I really have nothing to complain about. But just being here kind of brings me down. Part of it is my dad. He doesn't try, I swear, but sometimes he's just too much to handle. And, no, I don't want to go driving with him, but I apparently have no other choice.

I haven't seen my friends from these parts as much as I would like to, but I'm hoping to visit a bit more. I still have Nyssa and Briana's Christmas presents to deliver. I still owe Libby and David presents, too, but I actually haven't bought them yet (sorry, guys, if you're reading this). I've only seen Akshatha once, and from what I can tell she'll probably be out of town rather early, too.

Personally, I'd be all for hitting the road as soon as possible. We can move back in at OU January 13, but classes don't start until January 20, so I'm guessing the rest of the Minnesota folks will probably wait a few days. If they're leaving on the 17th or later, I'm may put in the extra $35 to take the Greyhound bus instead of driving. It would be worth it.

Even more generally, though, than being around my dad and not seeing my friends a whole lot, I'm just not really feeling myself the last two days. I suppose I can blame the drugs. My wisdom teeth are out and one of the drugs they gave me was a steroid which may cause moodiness. Still, I think it will help to be back on campus, back with my friends. I want to fix my sleep schedule. I want to sell my old books and buy my new ones. I want to return to work; I have friends there and I need the money. I'm surviving on minimal spending so far over break, but I still have the aforementioned Christmas presents to buy, and a few others for people I know at school.

Hm... it being New Year's Day, I'm sure I'm supposed to mention that. Perhaps I should be marking how far I've come in a year or mention what it is I want to accomplish before next year... Maybe later tonight (goal number one: procrastinate less? ha, like that'll happen.)

1 down, 3 to go

But more important than finals:

1. Sam Bradford ("my boyfriend"--I wish) won the Heisman. BOOMER SOONER!
2. The same night he did that, I saw the play "Dog Sees God," a parody of sorts on Charles M. Schulz's Peanuts comics. The premise behind the play is "what if the characters grew up and went to high school?" I had seen bits of it used before as a speech piece, but the show as a whole is definitely worth seeing. By the end, I was crying my eyes out, hugging the friends I was with, and in a general "I love you, everybody!" type mood. Alice actually acted on that and texted "I love you" to everyone in her cell phone (including her ex-boyfriend, someone who she doesn't know, and Kate and me, who were sitting at the table with her at the time). It deals with serious issues, but it's also comedic. Moreover, the acting was phenomenal. Nothing was overdone, nothing seemed forced. It was pretty much perfect--impressive, considering this was actually just a play being put on by one of the freshman-level acting classes.

Finally, finals. I took my German final this morning, finished in less than an hour. I think it went well. I know I missed one grammar thing and one or two questions based on our readings, but otherwise I think I did well. Chem tonight, Calc tomorrow morning, Music Thursday. Time to study!

Finals Time

Ew.

I could end the post there, but I won't.

I am currently in the middle of Dead Week, the week before finals. To my knowledge, OU does not officially recognize Dead Week. Some schools will give you the week off of classes so you can study for finals. Others will at least give you the last Thursday and Friday before finals off. I heard rumor that OU has a policy that no assignment or test or anything worth more than 5% of your total grade will be given during the course of the week. But I've also had friends who have had to turn in major papers this week, so that rumor may have no truth to it whatsoever.

In order to deprive myself of potential distractions, I asked Shannon to change my facebook password for me for the next two weeks. She's on strict orders to log me in if I ask her to, but since I am always afraid of being an annoyance, I don't ask often. Even so, she sometimes refuses to log me in, probably for the best of all possible reasons.

My finals schedule goes like this:
Monday 8:00-10:00 AM German (this final is cumulative, and I'm somewhat worried about it--10% of our final grade)
Monday 7:30-9:30 PM Chemistry (Not cumulative, but essentially it covers the entire second half of the semester. I'm not entirely worried, but I definitely need to study)
Tuesday 8:00-10:00 AM Calc (Ew. Just... ew. Cumulative, extremely important. Rather worried, especially since I won't have much time to study between Chem and Calc)
Thursday 8:00-10:00 AM Understanding Music (I'm not really worried about it. Not cumulative. But I definitely need to review my notes and read the assigned pages in the book)

As far as I can tell, I'll be leaving OU late Friday morning, but I'm not absolutely sure. It might turn into early afternoon. All I know is that I don't have a final that morning but the person I'm riding with does. I know also that I need to pick up my check from work before I leave. Fortunately, our winter schedule (which I am not on, seeing as I'll be out of town) starts that week, so I won't have to work in between finals. Lots of studying. Yay, I guess.

Thursday afternoon-night I guess I'll be packing and cleaning up the RSA office. Yay. Not a whole lot of fun, but it needs to be done. I'm still trying to figure out what I'll need to bring home. And I'm worried about all my food going bad. I have way too much food in this room. It may be a problem.

It will be less of a problem after break, though, because Shannon will be moving in, and then I'll have a roommate to help me eat all my food. And then I'll have a roommate to do Hip-Hop Abs with.

Welcome Home

Being back in Minnesota was a nice change of pace, but I'm really glad to be back. Well, except for the fact that I'm all alone.

I arrived back in Minnesota on Tuesday night, right on schedule. I made my way through the airport, debated picking up Caribou in the airport, decided against it, went to the car. From there, I greeted Akshatha and my father, and then got Caribou in Apple Valley. We dropped Akshatha at her house briefly so I could get all my stuff out of the car and settle in at home a bit, then made our way to Perkins for a get-together with a few friends. In total, there were eight of us and, well, I tried. I tried to help everyone get along. I tried to make it a fun night for all involved. Inevitably, though, there was some awkwardness, because the people there represented four different groups I hang out with.

After dinner, April drove me home and we hung out in the driveway for a while, just chatting. I filled her in on the goings-on at OU, the experiences I've had, the friends I've made, the groups I've joined. She filled me in on everything that she is still up to. It was really nice; we connected just like the old days. We had kind of stopped hanging out in the later years of high school, mostly because she went to SES and simply wasn't around as much. Still, we seemed to pick up almost exactly where we left off.

Wednesday I visited the high school with Akshatha. We got to see a lot of our old teachers, although I can think of at least two that we missed, and that made me quite sad. After that, I had a dentist appointment, was warned to floss more (and I have since then, but we'll see how long it lasts).

Thursday we cooked food and ate food and enjoyed food and each other's company as a family: my mother and father, my sister and her husband, and me. Things went mostly smoothly, I think. Around 6 p.m. I fell asleep for about an hour on the loveseat. When I woke up, I decided to just go to bed--Big shopping plans for the morning. Unfortunately, I was unable to get myself back to sleep. I finished the book I was reading (very good), took a shower, and dinked around on the computer until about 2 a.m. By 3:40 I was up, dressed, in the car, and in the Kohl's parking lot, gawking at the length of the line. It was my first Black Friday shopping experience (and you never forget your first time).

We made it out of Kohl's by 5:30. At least half the time spent in that store was spent standing in line to check out. After that, Akshatha and I went to the Mall of America. It was shockingly slow there at that hour. I suppose there were a ton of people, but we were all so spread out that it didn't seem very busy at all. I took a bunch of pictures and acted like a tourist so that all my friends back in Oklahoma would get to see what the mall is like. I hope they are pleased. I also hope everyone is pleased by their amazing Christmas presents! I'm almost halfway done with that part of shopping now, and I have probably increased my own wardrobe by 50%. Not that that takes much, given how small my wardrobe is. Furthermore, I know Akshatha is pleased, because I introduced her to her new favorite store, Charlotte Russe. We both picked up applications in hopes of working there this summer or winter or something. After a full day of exhausting, painful shopping, we left the mall at about 2:00.

Saturday was a family gathering. There was a lot of prep involved, but we got it done, and that's all that really matters. I also got my Raspberry Mountain Dew from Kwik Trip, so it can't have been a total failure of a day.

At 1 on Sunday morning, I got together with Nyssa and David. Nyssa transferred me a bunch of music as well as D&D books, which makes me very happy. What does not make me happy is the fact that NONE of the Kate Nash music worked... :( It may not be a complete dead end. Perhaps it just needs to be converted or something. Then we went to Denny's, laughed a bunch, ran to Walmart and picked up a $6 swimsuit with the intentions of hitting the hot tub. That plan fell apart when Nyssa and I realized that we were dead tired and it was 4 a.m.

10 a.m. brunch with the direct family plus my aunt and uncle. 1 p.m. departure from the MSP airport to OKC. The plane coming back was nicer than the first one, and I got a window seat. Yay. A friend gave me a ride back to campus, because he was driving back from his house after break and the airport was basically on the way. It turns out that he and I are closer friends than I would have originally thought, and that's nice. I spent the rest of this evening napping instead of going to the concert I was supposed to go to. This leaves me a two options: 1. see if Shannon or Eddie or Thom has an extra program around from Eddie's concert and look the songs up on YouTube, or 2. Go to the concert tomorrow night at 8 p.m., which would mean biking straight from General Council to Catlett in quite a hurry and missing the RSA meeting. I don't know. The meeting might be important, since there's an event Tuesday night and we still need to make/hang publicity.

One last fun tidbit about the weekend: one friend specifically mentioned to me that she liked how "passionate" I am about everything, while another informed me that someone had referred to me as a "sheep," just a follower of the crowd. I don't particularly agree with either, though there may be truths to both, but I find the contrast very interesting. We see people how we want to see them.

Another change in plans?

Maybe I will be getting a roommate after all, but this time there's really no anxiety involved in the change. Shannon and roommate are having serious issues. I will detail those at a later date, because right now I kind of want to sleep, but basically it will come down to one of them moving out. If that one happens to be Alicia, fine. That means Shannon and I will both have singles. If it's Shannon, she's coming to join me. I know that will work out because we're basically best friends, we have the same sleep schedules, the same friends, the same shoe size, the same Blue Man Group t-shirt, had the same job at Papa Murphy's... It will work out. I just don't want to see her in the kind of emotional turmoil Alicia puts her through. It really hurts me to see her so upset.

Perhaps I sympathize too strongly.

Sleep=fail

I probably will not sleep properly for the next several days.

Friday night: Work, RSA Event (Bring Your Own Game Night)
Saturday: Work, hanging out with Alice and Shannon
Wee hours of Sunday morning: Taking Alice to the airport so she can go home to New Jersey. Walmart run?
Sunday: Maybe I'll sleep a little, but I imagine I'll try to get homework done as well. Then, a concert so I can do a concert report for Understanding Music.
Monday: Classes, more classes, meetings, more meetings, Thanksgiving event for RSA (Gobblin' Good Time!)
Tuesday: Math, then to the airport a bit early so Kate can catch her 4:00 flight home to CT. My flight leaves at 5:47, and I'll be home around 7:57, I think.

Hopefully I'll manage to get several hours of sleep on the two-hour flight, because I don't really intend to sleep over break either, sadly. As it turns out, I want to spend every waking moment visitng people, but there just aren't enough waking moments in days when you waste 8 hours sleeping.

As one friend put it:

basically you can never have enough time to do the things you want to do

but some things are more important then others

and for us...sleep is not that important

Good day

1) No new roommate. I was supposed to be getting one over the weekend, but she never came. I now have official word from my RA that she will not be coming. Something has changed (I don't know what or why). Whatever, that's fine by me. And once again, I probably won't be getting a new roommate at least until next semester. I could set up the guest bed again!

2) I've only gone to one class so far this week, but I don't think there will be any repercussions for it. I missed German, Understanding Music, and Chem lecture on Monday. The only one that isn't a giant lecture is German, but I e-mailed the teacher and she was very understanding. I explained (truthfully) that I was sick and didn't think it a good idea to attend class that morning. I didn't go to Goddard, but I am feeling much better now, so I'm not going to worry about it. Then today (yesterday, technically) I didn't go to math, once again because I woke up feeling somewhat ill (and also extremely tired). Then I got up later and headed to my chem recitation, but I arrived ten minutes late and class was already out. Nobody was left in the classroom. I called my lab partner; I had missed a bunch of exciting announcements that can basically be summed up by saying that the only class we have for the next three weeks is to check out of the lab. Awesome. So that's all good.

3) I made Akshatha extremely jealous, and every single one of you should be jealous as well: PostSecret's Frank Warren is coming to OU December 3rd! Squee! I'll definitely be attending and hopefully be getting my PostSecret book signed. Also, over break I'm going to go to the Minneapolis Public Library with Akshatha, because there's a PostSecret exhibit going on there through November 30th. Once again, squee!

4) Indian music! After my brief re-exposure to Indian music in Texas, I needed more so a friend of Akshatha's e-mailed me some, and now I have 6 songs or something. When I get home for Thanksgiving, I expect that collection to expand about 6 times over, at least.

5) Spaghettios, Grape Pop, Pizza Rolls, StumbleUpon. (One of these things is not quite like the others. Also, far more addicting)

Let's hope this all lasts.

Texas

Did you know...

In Texas, the state flag is allowed to be flown higher than the U.S. flag? And quite often it is. The biggest thing I've noticed about Texas is that the people there have a lot of pride in their state. "Don't Mess With Texas" bumper stickers, the flag everywhere (a giant one was stretched across the visitors' side of the stadium at the drumline competition we went to), just... everywhere. Every bank had the word "Texas" in its name. So you'll never be in Texas without knowing it.

Anyway, I enjoyed Texas. Number one favorite thing: the Indian radio station. <3 Yay, Hindi music! It made me so happy. The only problem was that they didn't actually play as much music as I'd have liked. Lots and lots of talking. Oh, well. The other unfortunate bit was that my MP3 player couldn't pick it up, so I couldn't listen to it at night and stuff. Oh, well.

So, Saturday night we went to a drumline competition. I had a ton of fun, even though we actually didn't stay for much of it. It was kind of cold out, only about 40 degrees (reminded me of marching band season at home). I started reminiscing about pit. I miss it, but I'm still glad I switced to sax. Still, if our school had winter drumline, I'd have done it. We left after seeing only a few drumlines perform, though, because Shannon (Texan) and Richard (Californian) were cold. I'll post pictures, maybe, if I feel like it.

That's how rumors get started

Haven't updated in more than a week--that's got to be a new record! Basically it comes down to the fact that things have been really odd lately, and I wanted to get them sorted out before telling too much about the details. I wasn't really sure where things were going or what was happening, but now I know, and now y'all (I still laugh at that word) will, too.

The real source of confusion and mayhem was, naturally, boys. Kingsley and I were getting along very well, even though we didn't exactly see each other very often over the last week. That may have something to do with the fact that I was avoiding him, I guess. Well, we kissed. That's as much I'm saying on that matter. Eventually, though, I stopped and asked where, exactly, it was going. After a whole lot of beating around the bush, he said "We can start dating, if that's what you want." Well, I thought it was. And then two days later I realized that I enjoyed his attention more than his actual company, and I avoided him for a while and then talked to him in private and told him that. He only said "Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me," and walked away. Alright, well, it was over with, and so I was relieved, and that's all that really mattered. Oh, wait. It's never that simple. So the next day he start chatting with me online and said it was his turn to talk. I agreed to meet with him, because I felt like that was only fair. I had a pretty sudden change in attitude and he hadn't asked me to elaborate before at all. So I kind of avoided him for a while, but in a relatively cooperative way. I texted him when I was done with class. He didn't respond, so I went out with Shannon and then he texted me while I was with her, and I told him I'd text on my way back, and he didn't really say much in response and then I had a chem test and, long story short, we didn't actually end up talking until about 12 am Thursday night.

In our talk we ended up discussing the fact that, yes, I am looking for a relationship, but that neither of us actually felt much of a "spark." To him, that doesn't matter, apparently. I won't divulge too much (not my stories to tell), but basically he has a bunch of messed up relationships in his past and he no longer has any motivation to get into a long-term relationship. That, however, is exactly what I'm going for. I want the kind of relationship... well, the kind that could eventually lead to heartbreak. Not that I want that pain, by any means, but I want to care about someone that much and to be that close to them. He mostly just wants a warm body to snuggle up against. So we came to the agreement that everything was probably for the best if we didn't get involved any further and that's that. Friends, I guess.

Hardly of any importance now, though. I'm in Texas! Richard and I accompanied Shannon home this weekend, to Grapevine, and that is where I am typing to you from now. But details on that tomorrow, I think, while I'm avoiding homework. In the meantime, movie!

Bitter

I should be in Arkansas right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to my weekend of hanging out and watching chick flicks with Shannon, but I should be there. It doesn't make any sense.

This weekend is SWACURH (Southwest Association of College and University Residence Halls). It's a leadership conference-type thing, and it's bound to be amazing and a ton of fun, and useful for anyone who intends to run for an HCSA office next year (yes, that includes me). But you could only go, to represent OU, by application. Richard had all of the Adams RSA execs fill out the apps--Alice, Eddie, Chelsey, and myself. A few other people from Adams filled it out too. I'm the only one of the execs, though, who isn't going. I was chosen as a "delegate alternate" rather than a delegate. So... what makes Alice and Chelsey more worthy of going than myself? Especially since Richard told me to list "lead executive member" on my application rather than just "executive member" like the other two girls... It doesn't make any sense. So I e-mailed Deb, the HCSA official who got the privilege of sending out the notifications to everyone, and asked her, for future reference, what things on my application could have made the difference. After a few days, she talked to the committee and got back to me.

GPA.

WTF?! With a high school GPA of 3.8 and 22 credits from the University of Minnesota totaling a GPA of 3.57, you'd think that pretty much beats out the other freshwomen who applied (only comparing myself to the women because they intentionally chose 4 men, 4 women). I talked to Alice-both of those are higher than the GPA she listed. This makes no sense. Honestly, I felt really confident with my application. My answers to the questions were sincere and still contained the information it seemed like they were looking for. Furthermore, Richard reviewed all of our applications before we turned them in, and he was confident that I would make it (less confident in Alice).

I feel like a bitch. Alice is a good person. She deserves to go. But I'm trying to be objective and she's the only one I have to compare this to, because I don't know about Chelsey's GPA or anything, and I don't know anything about the two Michelles who are also going except that they're upperclassmen.

I should be there, though.

And the worst part is that this whole thing feels just like high school all over again. Repeatedly, I applied for all sorts of leadership positions. I tried out for Drum Major three years in a row. I applied for a section leader position my senior year. I applied to be a speech captain twice (and then we ended up with Kate? Seriously, Kate?). It's just so frustrating.

I should be in Arkansas. Instead, I'm sitting all alone in the empty RSA office. Not a single person has come in all night, because it's Thirsty Thursday and theyr'e all out partying. Everyone is out of town except Shannon, who has class until 9:20. And... and I should be in Arkansas.

And more weather and lolz

Storm clouds looming overhead, severe weather watch, tornado watch. None of this would shock me; it's Oklahoma, after all. But seriously, NOVEMBER. What part of late autumn does Mother Nature not understand? And why does she only have trouble understanding it in terms of its application to this area? Not that I mind. Storms are good. Fun to look at, fun to keep track of. Which is exactly what I'm doing. I tried to find a good spot on the main part of campus to observe from, but failed miserably at that, so instead I am in the library.

Reminder: the people here are great.

Walking to the computer I am now sitting at I passed a kid with the radar up (not surprising, but still interesting). Yeah, I'll be bringing up the radar on my own computer in a minute. Or right now, actually. Multiple radars. Anyway, the next computer I noticed had a scholarly article up on it. I will probably try to find it and link it here eventually, because I am that amused by the title.

"Can you hear me now? The impact of voice on an online gaming community."

lol.

Weather and Guys...

As promised in my last post...

The weather here is ridiculously warm. I was severely disappointed last week when I missed the first snow at home. I'm still not sure how much snow there was back there, but it was in the 70s here, so I didn't feel any of it. Today it's supposed to be in the high 70s as well. It's ridiculous. I just want to scream "C'MON OKLAHOMA! IT'S NOVEMBER!" But Oklahoma won't listen anyway, and it would embarrass my friends.

And, before I move on to the "guys" part, I have an announcement, for those who have not heard already. I dyed my hair! It's reddish, on the strawberry side of strawberry blonde. E-mail me for pictures!

And now back to your regularly scheduled drama.

Last weekend (Saturday, 25 October, I believe), I went dancing again with the usual crowd plus Hannah (a sophomore friend from RSA/hcsa and MN), Alan (an awkward Asian kid who wrote in a facebook note that he was "only there for research"), Kingsley (who lives across the hall from Richard and whom I had never met before), and Brittany (Britney? No idea. A random friend of Alicia's). There wasn't a whole lot of dancing with strangers this time. At the beginning of the night I was dancing with Hannah. Some guy randomly came up to us said his two friends just came from Brazil and they don't know how to dance, would we teach them? Yeah, not that gullible, but all for dancing. Unfortunately, Hannah, the more outgoing dancer between the two of us, got paired up with apparently the more outgoing guy, so my dance didn't last very long. But then Kingsley came over and we were basically dancing together all night. Like, I honestly didn't dance with anyone else (excluding the moments with Alicia, while I was trying to pull her away from the guy who bought her two drinks). More interesting events during the night, but basically the short version of it all is this: Kingsley.

So now I have issues again. Kingsley very clearly likes me. He goes out of his way to come visit me. He dragged me off alone one night to Crossroads. And everyone else seems to want this relationship to happen: Richard won't let it go, Shannon thinks it's a good idea, Alice practically already considers us a couple (saying she feels like she's the only non-couple one because her boyfriend is still in NJ). But I'm not so sure. Part of me says, "Go for it Sarah, it's a great opportunity. He's a nice guy" (Shannon agrees with this part). But the other part of me is nearly positive that I'm not really interested in him, just enjoying the attention, which means it's wrong for me to lead him on (Alice is leaning towards this side). I seem to have done that once before, kind of, and it ended, on my part anyway, awkwardly. He's a nice guy, and I could see us being good friends, but I just don't think I have the right reasons, as usual. Screw reason. Reason isn't a whole lot of fun.

Any tips?

HAPPY PUMPKIN DAY!

Halloween isn't until Friday, but I'm doing all of my celebrating tonight. Adams RSA is responsible for putting on the Safe Trick-Or-Treat program for the Norman community. Kids from around Norman come and trick-or-treat up and down the dorm towers. There's also a haunted house in the RSA office, a carnival in the Walker-Adams Mall (put on by one of the other centers), and a lounge for the parents whose children are old enough to wander by themselves.

We have put so much time into this event, it's unbelievable. Richard, I know, has been working non-stop. The event is tonight, and I don't think he's slept more than 5 hours over the last three days. It can't be good for him. Or for the rest of us. Way too many late nights going on. Nonetheless, I've never been more excited about Halloween. Safe Trick-Or-Treat has taken over my life for now. That pumpkin has the HCSA logo on it. I think I worked on it for nearly two hours. And it's not that I was distracted. Quite to the contrary, I was incredibly focused and being an insane perfectionist.

I can't imagine life without RSA. There are a few kinks in the system right now regarding hcsa/rsa elections, but I may actually run to be Adams Center President for next year. The biggest detail that makes a difference in that is whether or not Richard decides to run. If he's running for Adams RSA pres, it's his; he deserves it, and he knows what he's doing. Otherwise, I think it will be me vs. Eddie, and that could be a close race.

In the background of all this holiday hustle and bustle, there's been some personal drama. Not "personal" as in "my own," but just... stuff. Stuff to do with Shannon and her roommate. And I may give details out on an individual basis, but it's not entirely my story to tell (though I am involved somewhat). As a result of this drama, Shannon ended up sleeping in my room the other night, and I have decided to semi-permanently convert the other bed in here to a guest bed. I have my extra pair of sheets on it, a blanket Alice left in here one night, and a fleece throw I picked up at Walmart last night for $3.97.

Speaking of insanely cheap things: gas! $1.97 the other day at Walmart. $2.01 at a few other places.

And there's also cool stuff to say about weather and guys, but now is not the time because I think we're doing some more decorating soon!

Guilt

Every time I talk to a guy (or dance with a guy, or whatever), Richard turns his head to smile at me. In a way, it feels mocking. Maybe part of it is. After all, I basically portray myself as being only half a step away from asexual. But I brought it up with Shannon this morning, and she said it's because "He feels bad. We both do." For those interested, Shannon and Richard are now an official couple. So official, in fact, that they've updated their facebooks.

"We just want you to be happy," she said. I've been hearing a lot of that lately. Last night, my drunken friend was praying out loud and she asked God to bring a Caribou Coffee to campus for me so that I could be happy. She has mentioned, sober even, that I tend to be willing to give up my own happiness for the happiness and well-being of my friends. But all of these things she's said I've done have seemed like no-brainers to me. Last night, I slept in a "bathtub" made by pushing two armchairs together so I could take care of her while she was sick: I can survive without catching up on my sleep for one more night. I back off so two of my friends can start dating: other guys will come along, and my friendships with either of them mean more to me than a one-sided attraction that never would have gone anywhere.

Any time Shannon's guilt of nearly Catholic proportions comes up, I remind her (and myself) that neither of them have done anything wrong. We can't help who we are attracted to.

Learning experiences

I swear, I was going to go to bed. I stopped playing video games abruptly at 1:30, but just as I was unplugging the NES from the lobby TV, a friend (remaining unnamed because she does not deserve to be judged by this one incident) came through the west doors of the building with another mutual friend. Both are laughing, and I call out to them by name. "Who is that?!" she shouts across the lobby. It's not long before I realize that this friend is completely and totally wasted. Richard comes over to help (he was playing Halo on the other TV), and he brings the friend to the office, tells her to lie down, and sets a garbage can next to the couch. I finish packing up my games and then go in to check on the friend. Other friends have set her up with a water bottle and a piece of bread, which she is only barely able to eat. Clumsy, entirely candid, she spouts every thought that comes to mind. And then she pukes a little bit, and it smells of "vodkarita." I started to gag but got my mind away from the smell and the mental image fast enough to maintain my composure.

Almost two hours later, she and I are still in the office. She has fallen asleep, so I am staying down here with her for the night to make sure she doesn't end up choking on her vomit or something. I have class at 9. It's "International Talk Like Sarah Palin Day." She doesn't have class until 4, probably a very good thing, since she will, almost without a doubt, have a hangover.

The moral of the story (one I already knew, actually): vodka takes a while to have its effect. Drink vodka slowly so you know how drunk you are. You'll go from sober to wasted really fast otherwise, with no "slightly buzzed" in between.

The other lesson: the gods of sleep (Hypnos in Greek, Somnus from Roman myth) hate me. I was trying. Really, I was.

I'm calling this a good week

I'm not sure what a normal person's "good week" feels like, but I'm definitely happy with the way this week has gone for me.

I've managed to be awake for German every day. That's good, for obvious reasons. I was also on time every day this week, unlike last week. This morning (I say that, but it's Saturday now, so I mean Friday morning) I woke up 10 minutes before class started, got ready in three, and ran all the way to class. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself, because I had somehow made it on time, but when I walked into class, we had a sub, so it ended up not mattering. Oh, well. The sub was a much better teacher than our normal professor, which is a bit frustrating, in the long run, but I got over it.

In Understanding Music, we had a review day for the test on Monday (we also have a German test on Monday, but I've talked to the Music teacher about the possibility that I will be late to class and he said it's not an issue). I took very careful notes and should be able to study over the weekend, probably primarily Sunday night.

There was no chem today, because we had a test Thursday night on units 3 and 4. I got a combined total of 80%, but the unit 4 grade was only 70%, so I may opt for the retake on that one, depending on what my grade looks like at the time it comes up.

Instead of chem, I went to lunch at Cate, where I ran into some meteorology friends. We ate, talked, and I made plans with Sadi to work on math homework together tonight. Before that, though, we're going to go to Which Wich for supper, because I've never been there, along with Megan, a mutual friend. I think they're going to meet me at my work when I get off (6:00) because Which Wich is on Campus Corner, as is JJ's. Excellent. I've invited a few more people along for the sandwiches because it sounds like fun, but I'm not really sure who's coming and who's not.

After lunch and making all these plans, I came back to the dorm and slept until about 14 minutes before I had to be at work. I quickly gathered my things, hopped on my bike, and made it to the shop, where I was greeted with two lovely deliveries to make. The first was pretty close, and I got a $3 tip. The second was 1.7 miles away, a large stretch of that being on busy roads with no sidewalks, and then I had trouble finding the address, and then there was a suite involved because the address referred to an entire strip of little businesses. But I got another $4.50 in tips, so that definitely made up for it. Also, these two adventures took up almost the first hour of my three-hour shift. I call it a productive day when I earn 33% above my expected wages.

After I came back to the dorm, I had plans to go with Alice to the concert happening on the Walker-Adams Mall at 9, but I was napping again until about 10. Alice never called me, and she said it was no big deal, so I guess I'm alright with that. I went up and visited her at her new job, monitoring the 24-hour quiet study area on the 12th floor of Walker, tonight from 10 pm-6 am. Icky. But we hung out, and then Kate came up, since she lives in Walker anyway. Overall, it was a fun night.

To change tones entirely (sorry, I don't want to be emo, but it happens), I've concluded that hope can hurt a lot. I think that's part of why I've been having so much trouble dealing with this Richard stuff. I really do think that all I need, or really really want, anyway, is a guy. I want someone to cuddle with and someone to hold hands with and someone to kiss (ew... cooties!). And when Alice was telling me she thought he might like me back, I got my hopes up. I thought that could be him. And now I am somewhat jealous because Shannon is getting that instead of me. But it doesn't need to be him. I know that I don't convey this very well, but I am fine just being friends with Richard. He's still a good person, fun to be around, and y'know, it's easier when I don't feel like I need to try to impress him. But I just wish I had someone, and since he was the latest someone on my mind, he's kind of stuck there until I come across someone new.

I really want to say that a few good nights' sleep will help me stop being so weird and emotional, but I'm not sure I'll ever find out at this rate. Ugh. My back hurts. Dorm mattresses=t3h suXx0rz!