i... hate... people...

I've got no plans for all of break. So far what I've done in the first three of my seven days in town is sit around the house on the internet, eat meals with my parents (I love them, but c'mon), and drink Caribou coffee (which, again, I love, but c'mon).

I tried to send a "mass text" to my friends in town to arrange a trip to Perkins the night I got in. It went to four people... including an email address. Exactly two of the people responded. One to say no. Oh, and the "no" was from 'Taylor.'

I attempted to reschedule Perkins. Might be going down tomorrow, with two of the other people who were in my mass text. Maybe even a third person (the person who was originally e-mailed). Hoboy.

I tried to arrange a get-together with one of my OU friends, who will be in town for a speech tournament Wednesday through Sunday. Too busy for a get-together. Freaking 20 minutes away, but won't have time.

So there're at least two people I kind of hoped to get together with (Taylor and this OU friend) who have managed to quash those plans.

Other people I hate:

Me? I accidentally introduced Jay and Megan. Apparently things hit off in some way, shape, or form. But there's the obvious awkwardness of the history between Jay and Cari and the fact that Cari and Megan are about to be roommates. Supposedly things have leveled off and will remain platonic, but I'm not so sure; they seem to talk and hang out a lot, and Megan simply won't discuss it, which is a sure sign that something's up. Jay keeps saying he wants to get some friends together at his parents' place. Last time I talked to him about it, he was saying it might just be me and Megan. Hahahaha no.

Richard. No, he hasn't done anything new. He's just been, well, existing. He decided to come down and visit for spring break. He was in town Thursday, but thankfully I never ran into him. Well, he also decided to go down to Denton to visit Shannon. I know she's still friends with him. I know she wants to see him... But I really really wish that were not the case. I just have to remember that the version of Richard she is still in contact with is the version I used to be friends with. The Richard I've had most recent contact with is basically a different person.

Boys. All of them? Yes, I think that's reasonable.

90% of the people I want to grade school with. Why not? Sorry, I guess I'm a little bitter about this mass-text-going-to-four-people thing. Yeah, just a little.

Mary Tyler Moore theme

The original lyrics to the song "Love is All Around" (the Mary Tyler Moore show theme) included the following verse.

You are most likely to succeed

You have the looks and charms and girl you know that's all you need
All the men around adore you
That sexy look will do wonders for you
Love is all around why don't you take it all
You're gonna make it after all.

That attitude is outdated, right? Part of the reason things between Kingsley and I never progressed was because, as we were discussing things afterwards (after I kind of decided things shouldn't go anywhere. But let's face it: that could very easily have changed), he said something about how I should wear skirts more often. Obviously that doesn't mean much, but, for lack of a better way to put it, I grew up with the "Mulan" generation. Very "true to yourself" kinda thing. As it turns out, my true self likes wearing man pants so I can carry a million knives in my pockets. Should I change that to get a guy?

I guess that's the same question I asked a month and a half ago about make-up, huh?

Well, tonight Kingsley and I had a long talk (an awkward talk, too, but that's not the important part here). It left me noticeably quiet, thinking, pondering, kind of just mulling over things we had said, specifically regarding relationships and boys and shit (yeah, awkward...). And a few minutes after I got up to my room, he sent me a text:

Don't get too down on yourself. You looked incredible in that dress; there are plenty of guys who wish they could have you. Just keep looking.

And for some reason it bothers me the way he always makes it sound like what I'm wearing could make all the difference.

So, do I listen to Mulan (and that Christina Aguilera song from the movie) or do I just give up on some of the stubbornness?