Friday, April 30, 2010

No good reason

I have no right to be angry right now. So maybe it's just the buildup of stress or sleep deprivation or nervousness about finals, but I'm really kind of mad.

Future roommate, M (I've decided to try to switch over to letters or nicknames instead of people's actual names), recently friended Richard on facebook (eh, his name is already on here. It really doesn't matter). And that shouldn't anger me but it really really does. I don't think I ever posted anything here the day he called me and the rest of the execs "spineless shits" on facebook. In fact, he's said a lot of things about me with similar connotations, in both private messages and public facebook conversations. He's one of the few people I know who I might actually consider saying I hate, and I don't use that word on people if I can avoid it. So, I understand M has gotten close to Jay (and that that's my own fault), and I know Jay and Richard are still tight... But I kinda hoped that she and I were a little tighter.

In my head, it's comparable to if I were to suddenly become buddy-buddy with Guy X with whom she has a ridiculous history. M and X almost had something go on, and then some bullshit drama happened in that group of people. But now she's left that group of people behind in her life and never ever speaks to him and only speaks about him in the context of calling him an asshole or worse.

I don't want her to be able to tolerate Richard. I don't want her to give him a chance. I want her to want to punch him on sight, every time she sees him. And if there isn't animosity between them next year, I can see this roommate situation getting... dramatic.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Wish right now...

Blah... I know it's been a really long time since I posted. I don't really care all that much. Life has been boring, so there hasn't been much to post. Still, I guess this is the part where I make obligatory fake promises that I'll try harder to post more often.

I don't know why I've been feeling so stressed lately. Yeah, it's the end of the year. Yeah, I'm spending another summer at home, probably bored out of my mind, probably jobless and broke. And nearly friendless. And frankly, school life hasn't felt much different lately. I sit around most of the time, either on facebook or watching TV shows. My friends are either too busy or too boring. Beggars really shouldn't be choosers, though. I don't know.

RSA has been winding down. I'm currently waiting on results from the HCSA appointment process. They were supposed to tell us tonight, but there was apparently a hangup in the discussions, so they said they'd tell us tomorrow. In the meantime, I can't discuss it with most of my friends because they're either fellow candidates or the elected execs from the other side of the interview table or Eddie, who didn't get his elected position.

Life is so dull and yet so complicated right now. I think mostly, I'm lonely. Lonely like freshman year just before me and Shannon had really hit it off. Lonely enough that I'm practically counting down the days until I'll be home again. And then I'll still be lonely, but somewhere else.

I really need to go on a drive.




(Not my usual style of music, but I really like this song)