Some of my optimism from last week has deflated a bit.
I spent most of the week in a fight with roomie 4. So that was awesome. And things with boy are moving slower than I had initially hoped/expected. I also had two tests and a large quiz and there were a million RSA events, and it was filing week for elections--turns out I'm not running unopposed, at least for now.
And with those general remarks in place, I leave you, because I'm on my phone and only meant to preview anyway. Details will follow in next post.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Optimistic
At the end of my last post, I kind of attempted to preview what would be written in this one, and I said it was "mostly optimistic" but also kind of "goes back and forth." Well, by recent turn of events, it's entirely optimistic. Hooray.
So, big group went to Pink & Black Ball. But before that, we went to another event in the Union (same night, same building, same floor, same start time). OU Improv was having a show that night. And there happens to be a guy in OUI who I am quite into and, in fact, asked out last weekend. Starting from the top...
Met him previously at a friend's party. Invited him to our party last weekend, and texted him afterward to ask if he wanted to go out sometime. His response: "Yes, but..."
He said he was very interested, but there was a complicated situation involving another girl he had asked out a week or so before that. She gave him a "No, but..." and they were hanging out more and he still wasn't sure what was happening with it. But again, he said he was very interested and wanted to hang out more and grab lunch (we have class together right before lunch time) and still see what happened.
So, for the last week, I've been bipolarly bouncing between optimism and pessimism in regards to whether he's going to choose me or this other girl or neither or what. But we did hang out, and we did grab lunch, and I invited him with our group to get dinner one night, and I suggested he join up with us at Pink & Black Ball, where I'm happy to report I didn't kill anyone. Although I did give the best-used death glare of my life.
Anyway... went to his improv show, and then we went to the dance with the group and had a good time. And then we joined Megan and a friend of hers (who she knows she shouldn't trust and who I don't trust at all and dramadramadrama, but whatever) to go to Waffle House. And on the way back, sitting in the back of the car together, we held hands. awwwwwww....
I'm aware that this is ridiculous and middle school-ish and whatever. It's adorable and it makes me happy. Plus, I never had that in middle school either.
So the four of us went back to the apartment and played a round of Fluxx. And then Megan and her friend chatted and I chatted with boy, and then Megan's friend left and Megan was getting ready for bed and I was still chatting with boy. And he said that the complicatedness before had since dissolved, and if I was still interested we should go get dinner sometime.
And now I no longer have to bounce between optimism and pessimism. I just have to find time to grab dinner.
So, big group went to Pink & Black Ball. But before that, we went to another event in the Union (same night, same building, same floor, same start time). OU Improv was having a show that night. And there happens to be a guy in OUI who I am quite into and, in fact, asked out last weekend. Starting from the top...
Met him previously at a friend's party. Invited him to our party last weekend, and texted him afterward to ask if he wanted to go out sometime. His response: "Yes, but..."
He said he was very interested, but there was a complicated situation involving another girl he had asked out a week or so before that. She gave him a "No, but..." and they were hanging out more and he still wasn't sure what was happening with it. But again, he said he was very interested and wanted to hang out more and grab lunch (we have class together right before lunch time) and still see what happened.
So, for the last week, I've been bipolarly bouncing between optimism and pessimism in regards to whether he's going to choose me or this other girl or neither or what. But we did hang out, and we did grab lunch, and I invited him with our group to get dinner one night, and I suggested he join up with us at Pink & Black Ball, where I'm happy to report I didn't kill anyone. Although I did give the best-used death glare of my life.
Anyway... went to his improv show, and then we went to the dance with the group and had a good time. And then we joined Megan and a friend of hers (who she knows she shouldn't trust and who I don't trust at all and dramadramadrama, but whatever) to go to Waffle House. And on the way back, sitting in the back of the car together, we held hands. awwwwwww....
I'm aware that this is ridiculous and middle school-ish and whatever. It's adorable and it makes me happy. Plus, I never had that in middle school either.
So the four of us went back to the apartment and played a round of Fluxx. And then Megan and her friend chatted and I chatted with boy, and then Megan's friend left and Megan was getting ready for bed and I was still chatting with boy. And he said that the complicatedness before had since dissolved, and if I was still interested we should go get dinner sometime.
And now I no longer have to bounce between optimism and pessimism. I just have to find time to grab dinner.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Ballin'...
Yes, this is just super-fantastic... Awesome. Ballin'...
There are two balls coming up in the next two weekends. One of them is the Awkward Ball, my HCSA Weekend program for this semester. Huge budget, awesome DJ, lots of food, fantastic publicity...
The second (well, first if we go chronologically) is the Pink & Black Ball. I've had a blast at it since freshman year. It's a charity event--all ticket sales go to Susan G. Komen foundation, and it has great food, and lots of citrus punch, and everyone gets excited about it. Even I'm excited about it, and it's a dance. Whhhutwut. So if this is so awesome, why did my first sentence here sound so sarcastic?
Well, it's been a few months since I've said anything on this blog about it, but the problem here... is Richard. I've encountered him a few times on campus this year. I walked into a building for class one day as he was walking in. Very brief eye contact was made. And then I made the decision to stop being so aggressively pissed at him. Seeing any sign of him (such as his incredibly recognizable car) on campus made me want to... do things that involve crime, but I'm not saying what, because then if someone else does any of those things (he has a lot of enemies) I will be blamed. Anywho... I decided to try to stop caring. Which, admittedly, is a lot easier said than done, but I've calmed down a bit.
The other day, I got out of bed (on the Saturday after almost a set of Tues-Fri snow days) to find his car parked directly outside my window with only one car between his and mine. Fuuuuuuck. And then I made some irresponsible decisions that were effectively consequence-less, and then we hosted a party which included similar decisions, and was similarly consequence-less. But yeah. It kind of... it killed me that he could get so close and there wasn't shit I could do about it. Well, not quite nothing. We came up with some good ideas, like piling up the snow behind his vehicle so he couldn't get out. But that would've taken a lot of work. So instead I threw a single snowball. Gasp. I'm so violent.
He's going to be at Pink & Black Ball.
I don't want that to get to me the way it is, but... it's getting to me. A lot. And I'm worried about that night. Hopefully roomies 4 and 6 will be able to talk enough sense into me that I won't get arrested for violent crimes at a public, charity event. I feel like that sort of behavior would be considered bad PR.
But I'll try.
(There's another event on the same night as Pink & Black, by the way, but I'm saving the details on that one for the next blog post, which will probably be soon, since I'm actually planning it already. But it's too optimistic for me to combine it with this same post. Well... mostly optimistic. It kind of goes back and forth. Long story, made for another day.)
There are two balls coming up in the next two weekends. One of them is the Awkward Ball, my HCSA Weekend program for this semester. Huge budget, awesome DJ, lots of food, fantastic publicity...
The second (well, first if we go chronologically) is the Pink & Black Ball. I've had a blast at it since freshman year. It's a charity event--all ticket sales go to Susan G. Komen foundation, and it has great food, and lots of citrus punch, and everyone gets excited about it. Even I'm excited about it, and it's a dance. Whhhutwut. So if this is so awesome, why did my first sentence here sound so sarcastic?
Well, it's been a few months since I've said anything on this blog about it, but the problem here... is Richard. I've encountered him a few times on campus this year. I walked into a building for class one day as he was walking in. Very brief eye contact was made. And then I made the decision to stop being so aggressively pissed at him. Seeing any sign of him (such as his incredibly recognizable car) on campus made me want to... do things that involve crime, but I'm not saying what, because then if someone else does any of those things (he has a lot of enemies) I will be blamed. Anywho... I decided to try to stop caring. Which, admittedly, is a lot easier said than done, but I've calmed down a bit.
The other day, I got out of bed (on the Saturday after almost a set of Tues-Fri snow days) to find his car parked directly outside my window with only one car between his and mine. Fuuuuuuck. And then I made some irresponsible decisions that were effectively consequence-less, and then we hosted a party which included similar decisions, and was similarly consequence-less. But yeah. It kind of... it killed me that he could get so close and there wasn't shit I could do about it. Well, not quite nothing. We came up with some good ideas, like piling up the snow behind his vehicle so he couldn't get out. But that would've taken a lot of work. So instead I threw a single snowball. Gasp. I'm so violent.
He's going to be at Pink & Black Ball.
I don't want that to get to me the way it is, but... it's getting to me. A lot. And I'm worried about that night. Hopefully roomies 4 and 6 will be able to talk enough sense into me that I won't get arrested for violent crimes at a public, charity event. I feel like that sort of behavior would be considered bad PR.
But I'll try.
(There's another event on the same night as Pink & Black, by the way, but I'm saving the details on that one for the next blog post, which will probably be soon, since I'm actually planning it already. But it's too optimistic for me to combine it with this same post. Well... mostly optimistic. It kind of goes back and forth. Long story, made for another day.)
Friday, February 4, 2011
People
Social interaction just isn't my forte this week. Whoever I'm with, I've wanted to be with someone else. When I'm with a group, I want one-on-one; when I'm alone with one or two people, I'd rather be with the whole crowd.
I went up to the res halls today for lunch, and ended up hanging out there (and sitting in on an interview to fill the position of Couch RSA; I suppose I never mentioned this, but my successor transferred away for the semester because of grades) until dinner time. At that point, I was picked up by 2, 4, and a mutual from of 4 and myself (called Car for today, as I believe that's the primary reason he joined us: his was free of snow/ice) went up to Campus Corner and grabbed dinner. And then we all came back and played Guitar Hero, and I did some online homework. And then I took a break and played Guitar Hero and now Car is gone and 2 and 4 are in bed and everyone else is... wherever they are.
While at the res halls with the entire exec team, I was thinking I wanted to be alone doing homework (although goodness knows I wouldn't have) or perhaps alone with 6, being mutually mopey. I feel like I haven't seen her all that much, because she's been stuck up at the res halls keeping her office open, and even when she's not, she's been chillin' with exec. Which is cool, but makes me sad because it's not with me because getting up there would take me either 20 minutes or the guts to drive and attempt to park on campus during the day. When there are other people on the roads as well.
And when we went to dinner, I kind of wanted to be back with the exec group. And then we came back to the apartment and I wanted to be with the group but also wanted to be alone, so I opted for homework. Which made me want to socialize again, but not really with 4 and Car who were still playing Guitar Hero. And then I was antisocial some more and then I went back out to the living room and played GH on single player but with 4 and Car still in the room. Not a very good hostess, I'll willingly admit. But really, I just wanted to be with exec again, who, according to a text from 6, were "playing board games and having awkward conversations." I get that I left them, but... I wish I had been personally invited back. Which is pathetic and makes me sound like a friend who says things like that *ALL THE TIME* and really annoys me. But it would be nice not to feel like I'm imposing when I want to play. Or something.
I'm tired. My eyes are aching to close. My brain is... well, too tired to be doing more homework, although that probably doesn't say much. But emotionally, I'm a little too awake right now, and I don't think I'm likely to fall asleep without crying pathetically about how lonely I am. That's ridiculous. It really is. Pathetic. The only word for it. I... just need to suck it up and start inviting myself to shit. And then walking home alone in the cold and dark way late at night. Yeah, great idea.
I went up to the res halls today for lunch, and ended up hanging out there (and sitting in on an interview to fill the position of Couch RSA; I suppose I never mentioned this, but my successor transferred away for the semester because of grades) until dinner time. At that point, I was picked up by 2, 4, and a mutual from of 4 and myself (called Car for today, as I believe that's the primary reason he joined us: his was free of snow/ice) went up to Campus Corner and grabbed dinner. And then we all came back and played Guitar Hero, and I did some online homework. And then I took a break and played Guitar Hero and now Car is gone and 2 and 4 are in bed and everyone else is... wherever they are.
While at the res halls with the entire exec team, I was thinking I wanted to be alone doing homework (although goodness knows I wouldn't have) or perhaps alone with 6, being mutually mopey. I feel like I haven't seen her all that much, because she's been stuck up at the res halls keeping her office open, and even when she's not, she's been chillin' with exec. Which is cool, but makes me sad because it's not with me because getting up there would take me either 20 minutes or the guts to drive and attempt to park on campus during the day. When there are other people on the roads as well.
And when we went to dinner, I kind of wanted to be back with the exec group. And then we came back to the apartment and I wanted to be with the group but also wanted to be alone, so I opted for homework. Which made me want to socialize again, but not really with 4 and Car who were still playing Guitar Hero. And then I was antisocial some more and then I went back out to the living room and played GH on single player but with 4 and Car still in the room. Not a very good hostess, I'll willingly admit. But really, I just wanted to be with exec again, who, according to a text from 6, were "playing board games and having awkward conversations." I get that I left them, but... I wish I had been personally invited back. Which is pathetic and makes me sound like a friend who says things like that *ALL THE TIME* and really annoys me. But it would be nice not to feel like I'm imposing when I want to play. Or something.
I'm tired. My eyes are aching to close. My brain is... well, too tired to be doing more homework, although that probably doesn't say much. But emotionally, I'm a little too awake right now, and I don't think I'm likely to fall asleep without crying pathetically about how lonely I am. That's ridiculous. It really is. Pathetic. The only word for it. I... just need to suck it up and start inviting myself to shit. And then walking home alone in the cold and dark way late at night. Yeah, great idea.
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