Someone else

Apparently I haven't been myself lately and people are worried.

Last night, I came home from meetings (at about 11:30) to what I can only describe as an intervention (like from How I Met Your Mother, but without the banner).  Roomie 4 and the person titled "Car" from a previous blog post, both former METR majors and crazy northerners, apparently have decided that I appear absolutely miserable in meteorology.  Indeed, the abusive relationship we've all joked about has apparently gone too far this semester.  I've been stressed about a dynamics test, made a joke about pulling two all-nighters in a row, and people worried.

But apparently they aren't the only concerned ones.  Roomie 6 says I haven't been myself for the last week or so, but had trouble describing in what way.

So last night, instead of sitting around stressing about/studying for my dynamics test after all my meetings, I sat around and stressed about everything that could possibly be responsible for a change in attitude.

Class: Dynamics does have me miserable.  I don't pay as much attention as I should in class.  I fall behind until the exams, and then I try to catch up.  It's a horrible method.  I've been having to get excessive help from my classmates on assignments, making me feel like an insufferable mooch, and even with their help, I haven't been doing that well on the assignments.  It's actually possible that I'll fail dynamics, but it's really hard to say until the end of the semester.  First midterm (but we get to drop one of the three scores), I got 55; class average was 65; he tends not to curve grades that much (the 65 might just barely be considered passing).  So if I fail, I can either set myself back a full year to retake it and finish the degree, or I can drop it.  I'm planning on the latter.  If I change my meteorology major to a minor, I'm completely done taking those classes, Econ becomes my only major, and I can graduate on time.  In fact, I could graduate early (but I won't).  Perks: not in any more of these classes I'm "suffering" through, graduating on time means entering grad school in August which makes it easier to get a Graduate assistant position, not worrying about what to do with the spring semester after I graduate, free time. Problems: I've never seen myself as the "kind of person" (whatever that means) who graduates with a degree in a social science.  It feels like taking the easy way out.  No extra semester means no extra summer means no time to study abroad.
Housing: It's just been busy.  Elections are today and tomorrow.  We're getting our delegation ready for the conference we're attending in late May.  I'll soon be in my official capacity as president-elect.  I've got a program on Thursday.  I've realized that I (and the people in my position the last two years) have been out of compliance with our organization's constitution and I need to play catch-up to fix it.  After elections, appointments.  It's just a busy time.  And that on top of this no-pressure-whatsoever-other-than-determining-the-fate-of-my-bachelor's-degree dynamics test has been stressful.
Money.  Whenever I finish paying off the bursar for my meal plan, I'll have so little in my bank account that I literally cannot afford gas for a round trip home and back to school.
Baby: I can't visit my niece until she's about two months old.  And even then, see the section above (Money).
And of course, guys.  My angst on this topic has backed off a little in the last two days, but for the week before that it's been really high.  It's stupid and I'm sick of it.


And I was supposed to be reading for an assignment, not blogging.  Also, studying.

Un-preview

Since the "preview" post of two weeks ago:

• Fight with roomie 4 got resolved.  And then things continued to be awkward for a while, and then I was an adult and asked what was still bothering her and they finished getting resolved.
• Things with boy progressed and then abruptly stopped because he's "not ready for anything serious" or anything that will eventually become serious and I know it's not good for me to hold on and wait for him to be ready.
• I got nicely lectured for falling behind on some of my housing work, played catch-up really well.
• I realized I can't afford to go anywhere for spring break because I'm a broke college student with no source of income.
• I'm not talking details, but I got my mind caught up on another guy who's not actually an option.  Still, I can't stop myself from thinking about him as though he is, because it's kind of the only hope I've got right now.  I'm really unhappy with the fact that I'm less than two months from turning 21 and I've never had a relationship, or even anything close to one.  So that's depressing and actually been detracting from my sleep a little bit.
• I'm running unopposed for Housing president, so that's a sure thing for next year.  Hooray.  Which means I'm now planning out my crazy-busy next couple semesters, including summer.  I'll be staying on campus for the summer, with possible occasional trips home, although I'm not sure how I'm supposed to afford it...  Also not sure how I'm supposed to afford other trips I'd really like to go on, including one to a conference for people interested in making a career out of housing.
• On a note relevant to that last bit: My dad is really bad at hiding the fact that he's at least a little disappointed that I'm not going to do meteorology as a career.  Mostly I find this funny.  But yeah, it's also a little sad.

That's all I've got in me for tonight.  Happy "Irish New Year" as my friends have decided to call it.