Welcome Home

Being back in Minnesota was a nice change of pace, but I'm really glad to be back. Well, except for the fact that I'm all alone.

I arrived back in Minnesota on Tuesday night, right on schedule. I made my way through the airport, debated picking up Caribou in the airport, decided against it, went to the car. From there, I greeted Akshatha and my father, and then got Caribou in Apple Valley. We dropped Akshatha at her house briefly so I could get all my stuff out of the car and settle in at home a bit, then made our way to Perkins for a get-together with a few friends. In total, there were eight of us and, well, I tried. I tried to help everyone get along. I tried to make it a fun night for all involved. Inevitably, though, there was some awkwardness, because the people there represented four different groups I hang out with.

After dinner, April drove me home and we hung out in the driveway for a while, just chatting. I filled her in on the goings-on at OU, the experiences I've had, the friends I've made, the groups I've joined. She filled me in on everything that she is still up to. It was really nice; we connected just like the old days. We had kind of stopped hanging out in the later years of high school, mostly because she went to SES and simply wasn't around as much. Still, we seemed to pick up almost exactly where we left off.

Wednesday I visited the high school with Akshatha. We got to see a lot of our old teachers, although I can think of at least two that we missed, and that made me quite sad. After that, I had a dentist appointment, was warned to floss more (and I have since then, but we'll see how long it lasts).

Thursday we cooked food and ate food and enjoyed food and each other's company as a family: my mother and father, my sister and her husband, and me. Things went mostly smoothly, I think. Around 6 p.m. I fell asleep for about an hour on the loveseat. When I woke up, I decided to just go to bed--Big shopping plans for the morning. Unfortunately, I was unable to get myself back to sleep. I finished the book I was reading (very good), took a shower, and dinked around on the computer until about 2 a.m. By 3:40 I was up, dressed, in the car, and in the Kohl's parking lot, gawking at the length of the line. It was my first Black Friday shopping experience (and you never forget your first time).

We made it out of Kohl's by 5:30. At least half the time spent in that store was spent standing in line to check out. After that, Akshatha and I went to the Mall of America. It was shockingly slow there at that hour. I suppose there were a ton of people, but we were all so spread out that it didn't seem very busy at all. I took a bunch of pictures and acted like a tourist so that all my friends back in Oklahoma would get to see what the mall is like. I hope they are pleased. I also hope everyone is pleased by their amazing Christmas presents! I'm almost halfway done with that part of shopping now, and I have probably increased my own wardrobe by 50%. Not that that takes much, given how small my wardrobe is. Furthermore, I know Akshatha is pleased, because I introduced her to her new favorite store, Charlotte Russe. We both picked up applications in hopes of working there this summer or winter or something. After a full day of exhausting, painful shopping, we left the mall at about 2:00.

Saturday was a family gathering. There was a lot of prep involved, but we got it done, and that's all that really matters. I also got my Raspberry Mountain Dew from Kwik Trip, so it can't have been a total failure of a day.

At 1 on Sunday morning, I got together with Nyssa and David. Nyssa transferred me a bunch of music as well as D&D books, which makes me very happy. What does not make me happy is the fact that NONE of the Kate Nash music worked... :( It may not be a complete dead end. Perhaps it just needs to be converted or something. Then we went to Denny's, laughed a bunch, ran to Walmart and picked up a $6 swimsuit with the intentions of hitting the hot tub. That plan fell apart when Nyssa and I realized that we were dead tired and it was 4 a.m.

10 a.m. brunch with the direct family plus my aunt and uncle. 1 p.m. departure from the MSP airport to OKC. The plane coming back was nicer than the first one, and I got a window seat. Yay. A friend gave me a ride back to campus, because he was driving back from his house after break and the airport was basically on the way. It turns out that he and I are closer friends than I would have originally thought, and that's nice. I spent the rest of this evening napping instead of going to the concert I was supposed to go to. This leaves me a two options: 1. see if Shannon or Eddie or Thom has an extra program around from Eddie's concert and look the songs up on YouTube, or 2. Go to the concert tomorrow night at 8 p.m., which would mean biking straight from General Council to Catlett in quite a hurry and missing the RSA meeting. I don't know. The meeting might be important, since there's an event Tuesday night and we still need to make/hang publicity.

One last fun tidbit about the weekend: one friend specifically mentioned to me that she liked how "passionate" I am about everything, while another informed me that someone had referred to me as a "sheep," just a follower of the crowd. I don't particularly agree with either, though there may be truths to both, but I find the contrast very interesting. We see people how we want to see them.

Another change in plans?

Maybe I will be getting a roommate after all, but this time there's really no anxiety involved in the change. Shannon and roommate are having serious issues. I will detail those at a later date, because right now I kind of want to sleep, but basically it will come down to one of them moving out. If that one happens to be Alicia, fine. That means Shannon and I will both have singles. If it's Shannon, she's coming to join me. I know that will work out because we're basically best friends, we have the same sleep schedules, the same friends, the same shoe size, the same Blue Man Group t-shirt, had the same job at Papa Murphy's... It will work out. I just don't want to see her in the kind of emotional turmoil Alicia puts her through. It really hurts me to see her so upset.

Perhaps I sympathize too strongly.

Sleep=fail

I probably will not sleep properly for the next several days.

Friday night: Work, RSA Event (Bring Your Own Game Night)
Saturday: Work, hanging out with Alice and Shannon
Wee hours of Sunday morning: Taking Alice to the airport so she can go home to New Jersey. Walmart run?
Sunday: Maybe I'll sleep a little, but I imagine I'll try to get homework done as well. Then, a concert so I can do a concert report for Understanding Music.
Monday: Classes, more classes, meetings, more meetings, Thanksgiving event for RSA (Gobblin' Good Time!)
Tuesday: Math, then to the airport a bit early so Kate can catch her 4:00 flight home to CT. My flight leaves at 5:47, and I'll be home around 7:57, I think.

Hopefully I'll manage to get several hours of sleep on the two-hour flight, because I don't really intend to sleep over break either, sadly. As it turns out, I want to spend every waking moment visitng people, but there just aren't enough waking moments in days when you waste 8 hours sleeping.

As one friend put it:

basically you can never have enough time to do the things you want to do

but some things are more important then others

and for us...sleep is not that important

Good day

1) No new roommate. I was supposed to be getting one over the weekend, but she never came. I now have official word from my RA that she will not be coming. Something has changed (I don't know what or why). Whatever, that's fine by me. And once again, I probably won't be getting a new roommate at least until next semester. I could set up the guest bed again!

2) I've only gone to one class so far this week, but I don't think there will be any repercussions for it. I missed German, Understanding Music, and Chem lecture on Monday. The only one that isn't a giant lecture is German, but I e-mailed the teacher and she was very understanding. I explained (truthfully) that I was sick and didn't think it a good idea to attend class that morning. I didn't go to Goddard, but I am feeling much better now, so I'm not going to worry about it. Then today (yesterday, technically) I didn't go to math, once again because I woke up feeling somewhat ill (and also extremely tired). Then I got up later and headed to my chem recitation, but I arrived ten minutes late and class was already out. Nobody was left in the classroom. I called my lab partner; I had missed a bunch of exciting announcements that can basically be summed up by saying that the only class we have for the next three weeks is to check out of the lab. Awesome. So that's all good.

3) I made Akshatha extremely jealous, and every single one of you should be jealous as well: PostSecret's Frank Warren is coming to OU December 3rd! Squee! I'll definitely be attending and hopefully be getting my PostSecret book signed. Also, over break I'm going to go to the Minneapolis Public Library with Akshatha, because there's a PostSecret exhibit going on there through November 30th. Once again, squee!

4) Indian music! After my brief re-exposure to Indian music in Texas, I needed more so a friend of Akshatha's e-mailed me some, and now I have 6 songs or something. When I get home for Thanksgiving, I expect that collection to expand about 6 times over, at least.

5) Spaghettios, Grape Pop, Pizza Rolls, StumbleUpon. (One of these things is not quite like the others. Also, far more addicting)

Let's hope this all lasts.

Texas

Did you know...

In Texas, the state flag is allowed to be flown higher than the U.S. flag? And quite often it is. The biggest thing I've noticed about Texas is that the people there have a lot of pride in their state. "Don't Mess With Texas" bumper stickers, the flag everywhere (a giant one was stretched across the visitors' side of the stadium at the drumline competition we went to), just... everywhere. Every bank had the word "Texas" in its name. So you'll never be in Texas without knowing it.

Anyway, I enjoyed Texas. Number one favorite thing: the Indian radio station. <3 Yay, Hindi music! It made me so happy. The only problem was that they didn't actually play as much music as I'd have liked. Lots and lots of talking. Oh, well. The other unfortunate bit was that my MP3 player couldn't pick it up, so I couldn't listen to it at night and stuff. Oh, well.

So, Saturday night we went to a drumline competition. I had a ton of fun, even though we actually didn't stay for much of it. It was kind of cold out, only about 40 degrees (reminded me of marching band season at home). I started reminiscing about pit. I miss it, but I'm still glad I switced to sax. Still, if our school had winter drumline, I'd have done it. We left after seeing only a few drumlines perform, though, because Shannon (Texan) and Richard (Californian) were cold. I'll post pictures, maybe, if I feel like it.

That's how rumors get started

Haven't updated in more than a week--that's got to be a new record! Basically it comes down to the fact that things have been really odd lately, and I wanted to get them sorted out before telling too much about the details. I wasn't really sure where things were going or what was happening, but now I know, and now y'all (I still laugh at that word) will, too.

The real source of confusion and mayhem was, naturally, boys. Kingsley and I were getting along very well, even though we didn't exactly see each other very often over the last week. That may have something to do with the fact that I was avoiding him, I guess. Well, we kissed. That's as much I'm saying on that matter. Eventually, though, I stopped and asked where, exactly, it was going. After a whole lot of beating around the bush, he said "We can start dating, if that's what you want." Well, I thought it was. And then two days later I realized that I enjoyed his attention more than his actual company, and I avoided him for a while and then talked to him in private and told him that. He only said "Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me," and walked away. Alright, well, it was over with, and so I was relieved, and that's all that really mattered. Oh, wait. It's never that simple. So the next day he start chatting with me online and said it was his turn to talk. I agreed to meet with him, because I felt like that was only fair. I had a pretty sudden change in attitude and he hadn't asked me to elaborate before at all. So I kind of avoided him for a while, but in a relatively cooperative way. I texted him when I was done with class. He didn't respond, so I went out with Shannon and then he texted me while I was with her, and I told him I'd text on my way back, and he didn't really say much in response and then I had a chem test and, long story short, we didn't actually end up talking until about 12 am Thursday night.

In our talk we ended up discussing the fact that, yes, I am looking for a relationship, but that neither of us actually felt much of a "spark." To him, that doesn't matter, apparently. I won't divulge too much (not my stories to tell), but basically he has a bunch of messed up relationships in his past and he no longer has any motivation to get into a long-term relationship. That, however, is exactly what I'm going for. I want the kind of relationship... well, the kind that could eventually lead to heartbreak. Not that I want that pain, by any means, but I want to care about someone that much and to be that close to them. He mostly just wants a warm body to snuggle up against. So we came to the agreement that everything was probably for the best if we didn't get involved any further and that's that. Friends, I guess.

Hardly of any importance now, though. I'm in Texas! Richard and I accompanied Shannon home this weekend, to Grapevine, and that is where I am typing to you from now. But details on that tomorrow, I think, while I'm avoiding homework. In the meantime, movie!

Bitter

I should be in Arkansas right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to my weekend of hanging out and watching chick flicks with Shannon, but I should be there. It doesn't make any sense.

This weekend is SWACURH (Southwest Association of College and University Residence Halls). It's a leadership conference-type thing, and it's bound to be amazing and a ton of fun, and useful for anyone who intends to run for an HCSA office next year (yes, that includes me). But you could only go, to represent OU, by application. Richard had all of the Adams RSA execs fill out the apps--Alice, Eddie, Chelsey, and myself. A few other people from Adams filled it out too. I'm the only one of the execs, though, who isn't going. I was chosen as a "delegate alternate" rather than a delegate. So... what makes Alice and Chelsey more worthy of going than myself? Especially since Richard told me to list "lead executive member" on my application rather than just "executive member" like the other two girls... It doesn't make any sense. So I e-mailed Deb, the HCSA official who got the privilege of sending out the notifications to everyone, and asked her, for future reference, what things on my application could have made the difference. After a few days, she talked to the committee and got back to me.

GPA.

WTF?! With a high school GPA of 3.8 and 22 credits from the University of Minnesota totaling a GPA of 3.57, you'd think that pretty much beats out the other freshwomen who applied (only comparing myself to the women because they intentionally chose 4 men, 4 women). I talked to Alice-both of those are higher than the GPA she listed. This makes no sense. Honestly, I felt really confident with my application. My answers to the questions were sincere and still contained the information it seemed like they were looking for. Furthermore, Richard reviewed all of our applications before we turned them in, and he was confident that I would make it (less confident in Alice).

I feel like a bitch. Alice is a good person. She deserves to go. But I'm trying to be objective and she's the only one I have to compare this to, because I don't know about Chelsey's GPA or anything, and I don't know anything about the two Michelles who are also going except that they're upperclassmen.

I should be there, though.

And the worst part is that this whole thing feels just like high school all over again. Repeatedly, I applied for all sorts of leadership positions. I tried out for Drum Major three years in a row. I applied for a section leader position my senior year. I applied to be a speech captain twice (and then we ended up with Kate? Seriously, Kate?). It's just so frustrating.

I should be in Arkansas. Instead, I'm sitting all alone in the empty RSA office. Not a single person has come in all night, because it's Thirsty Thursday and theyr'e all out partying. Everyone is out of town except Shannon, who has class until 9:20. And... and I should be in Arkansas.

And more weather and lolz

Storm clouds looming overhead, severe weather watch, tornado watch. None of this would shock me; it's Oklahoma, after all. But seriously, NOVEMBER. What part of late autumn does Mother Nature not understand? And why does she only have trouble understanding it in terms of its application to this area? Not that I mind. Storms are good. Fun to look at, fun to keep track of. Which is exactly what I'm doing. I tried to find a good spot on the main part of campus to observe from, but failed miserably at that, so instead I am in the library.

Reminder: the people here are great.

Walking to the computer I am now sitting at I passed a kid with the radar up (not surprising, but still interesting). Yeah, I'll be bringing up the radar on my own computer in a minute. Or right now, actually. Multiple radars. Anyway, the next computer I noticed had a scholarly article up on it. I will probably try to find it and link it here eventually, because I am that amused by the title.

"Can you hear me now? The impact of voice on an online gaming community."

lol.

Weather and Guys...

As promised in my last post...

The weather here is ridiculously warm. I was severely disappointed last week when I missed the first snow at home. I'm still not sure how much snow there was back there, but it was in the 70s here, so I didn't feel any of it. Today it's supposed to be in the high 70s as well. It's ridiculous. I just want to scream "C'MON OKLAHOMA! IT'S NOVEMBER!" But Oklahoma won't listen anyway, and it would embarrass my friends.

And, before I move on to the "guys" part, I have an announcement, for those who have not heard already. I dyed my hair! It's reddish, on the strawberry side of strawberry blonde. E-mail me for pictures!

And now back to your regularly scheduled drama.

Last weekend (Saturday, 25 October, I believe), I went dancing again with the usual crowd plus Hannah (a sophomore friend from RSA/hcsa and MN), Alan (an awkward Asian kid who wrote in a facebook note that he was "only there for research"), Kingsley (who lives across the hall from Richard and whom I had never met before), and Brittany (Britney? No idea. A random friend of Alicia's). There wasn't a whole lot of dancing with strangers this time. At the beginning of the night I was dancing with Hannah. Some guy randomly came up to us said his two friends just came from Brazil and they don't know how to dance, would we teach them? Yeah, not that gullible, but all for dancing. Unfortunately, Hannah, the more outgoing dancer between the two of us, got paired up with apparently the more outgoing guy, so my dance didn't last very long. But then Kingsley came over and we were basically dancing together all night. Like, I honestly didn't dance with anyone else (excluding the moments with Alicia, while I was trying to pull her away from the guy who bought her two drinks). More interesting events during the night, but basically the short version of it all is this: Kingsley.

So now I have issues again. Kingsley very clearly likes me. He goes out of his way to come visit me. He dragged me off alone one night to Crossroads. And everyone else seems to want this relationship to happen: Richard won't let it go, Shannon thinks it's a good idea, Alice practically already considers us a couple (saying she feels like she's the only non-couple one because her boyfriend is still in NJ). But I'm not so sure. Part of me says, "Go for it Sarah, it's a great opportunity. He's a nice guy" (Shannon agrees with this part). But the other part of me is nearly positive that I'm not really interested in him, just enjoying the attention, which means it's wrong for me to lead him on (Alice is leaning towards this side). I seem to have done that once before, kind of, and it ended, on my part anyway, awkwardly. He's a nice guy, and I could see us being good friends, but I just don't think I have the right reasons, as usual. Screw reason. Reason isn't a whole lot of fun.

Any tips?