That's how rumors get started

Haven't updated in more than a week--that's got to be a new record! Basically it comes down to the fact that things have been really odd lately, and I wanted to get them sorted out before telling too much about the details. I wasn't really sure where things were going or what was happening, but now I know, and now y'all (I still laugh at that word) will, too.

The real source of confusion and mayhem was, naturally, boys. Kingsley and I were getting along very well, even though we didn't exactly see each other very often over the last week. That may have something to do with the fact that I was avoiding him, I guess. Well, we kissed. That's as much I'm saying on that matter. Eventually, though, I stopped and asked where, exactly, it was going. After a whole lot of beating around the bush, he said "We can start dating, if that's what you want." Well, I thought it was. And then two days later I realized that I enjoyed his attention more than his actual company, and I avoided him for a while and then talked to him in private and told him that. He only said "Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me," and walked away. Alright, well, it was over with, and so I was relieved, and that's all that really mattered. Oh, wait. It's never that simple. So the next day he start chatting with me online and said it was his turn to talk. I agreed to meet with him, because I felt like that was only fair. I had a pretty sudden change in attitude and he hadn't asked me to elaborate before at all. So I kind of avoided him for a while, but in a relatively cooperative way. I texted him when I was done with class. He didn't respond, so I went out with Shannon and then he texted me while I was with her, and I told him I'd text on my way back, and he didn't really say much in response and then I had a chem test and, long story short, we didn't actually end up talking until about 12 am Thursday night.

In our talk we ended up discussing the fact that, yes, I am looking for a relationship, but that neither of us actually felt much of a "spark." To him, that doesn't matter, apparently. I won't divulge too much (not my stories to tell), but basically he has a bunch of messed up relationships in his past and he no longer has any motivation to get into a long-term relationship. That, however, is exactly what I'm going for. I want the kind of relationship... well, the kind that could eventually lead to heartbreak. Not that I want that pain, by any means, but I want to care about someone that much and to be that close to them. He mostly just wants a warm body to snuggle up against. So we came to the agreement that everything was probably for the best if we didn't get involved any further and that's that. Friends, I guess.

Hardly of any importance now, though. I'm in Texas! Richard and I accompanied Shannon home this weekend, to Grapevine, and that is where I am typing to you from now. But details on that tomorrow, I think, while I'm avoiding homework. In the meantime, movie!