How to Succeed in College Without Really Trying

Tuesday classes are English (12-1:15), Math (1:30-2:45), and Qur'an (3-4:15). I had a paper due in English today and an analysis for Qur'an on the oaths in the selected passages (15 or so suras). I had not started either of these assignments last night. This list was written during my Qur'an class today.

How to Succeed in College (Without Really Trying):

• Freak out and have a totally unrelated breakdown at 11 p.m.
• Go to Burger King at 1 a.m.
• Hang out with friends sharing old stories until 2 a.m.
• Begin research for English paper.
• Print research, take a nap at 3 a.m.
• Wake up at 3:45 and go through research, highlighting and taking notes.
• Begin another nap at 4:15. Set alarm for 4:45.
• Repeatedly wake up and hit snooze button until 6:00. During brief conscious periods just after hitting alarm, brainstorm paper outline.
• Get up and write paper. Print. Print peer review sheets. Go back to bad at 6:35.
• Set alarm for 9 a.m. to read suras for Qur'an. Unintentionally hit snooze button until about 10:10. Turn off alarm, stay in bed.
• Realize at 10:30 that reading isn't done yet. Read.
• Go to class (12:00 noon). During first class, plan response to readings (to be submitted online at least one hour before class).
• Between first and second classes, go to computer lab and submit reading analysis for third class.
• Between the hours of 2 a.m. and 4:30 p.m., consume only three (3) vitamin gummy bears and one (1) Monster energy drink.