I've felt kind of zombie-ish the last few days. I haven't wanted to do anything. Every time I got in my car yesterday (at least 5, by the way), I've gotten to my destination and just sat there. Why should I go in? What good is class? My apartment? Why would I want to be there? Office hours? Why don't I just stay here and listen to music and eat apple chips?
Not like sitting there sounds any better. It just sounds like less thought. Less pretending to think. But I've gone to class and I've gone inside. When I realize I don't want to, I just force myself to fall back on the muscle memory that this semester has formed. Go inside. Sit around. Go back outside.
I haven't felt this way in a while. It worries me a little.
I'm trying to stay motivated, but I don't know where to start.
Of course, there are moments that aren't like that. I'm still having fun, minute-to-minute. But as soon as I go home, whether I'm doing anything or not, I'm just falling back on muscle memory, either to procrastinate or actually get things done.
Maybe the visiting parents this weekend will help? Doubtful. It'll just pull me away from homework/studying which will leave me even more stressed and make me want to shut down more.
4 comments:
(I like the new layout, btw)
In any case, this kind of feeling you're having is somewhat troubling. I know that right now I am also stressed and sometimes have a hard time finding motivation to do things (I currently have three research papers I'm working on, and I have to do research and reading for those while still keeping up with regular readings for classes) but at the end of the day I don't mind it so much because I enjoy the subject matter. Are you enjoying your classes and studies? Are there other reasons you feel so lethargic other than stress and tiredness? I wish I knew a strategy that would help you cope, but I'm not sure what that would be. :/ I hope this passes. I'm a bit worried for you. <3
I may have just burned myself out a bit lately? I was ridiculously overwhelmingly busy for about 6 weeks with a combination of school and extracurricular stuff, and suddenly the only thing I've really got is school because all of the big events I have to deal with for the semester are over. But between tests and giant projects and those events, I haven't had a mild week in two months now.
Please take care of yourself, Sarah. This sounds like the onset of mild depression, but it may get worse. Additional stress will not help. Lessen the load somehow. Stand up for yourself (i.e. do whatever it takes to make sure that other people's shit isn't getting to you, because, well, shit's contagious.) Get support from whomever you feel comfortable with: if it means talking to your professors, a counselor/psychologist--whomever--so be it. Letting others know that you recognize that something doesn't feel normal is, first of all, not a sign of weakness, and second, is better than trying to shrug it off and pretend that you'll "get over it".. Because well, what you're describing seems like more than just something that you can just "get through" like *that* for were it so, I doubt you would be feeling like you're going through the motions, feeling empty/blank, emotionally numb?
My advices aren't merely commands; however, nor are they mere suggestions. They are statements backed with love, care, protectiveness, and knowledge. Do feel free to call me, even, if you'd like. Whenever. I'm here for you.
Love,
PK
Oh yes, forgot to mention: a regular sleep schedule that fulfills your sleep needs is extra important! Water + nutritious foods (veggies & fruits especially) are assets.
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